We’re finally seeing the Legally Blonde love triangle from Vivian’s perspective…
Coping with an ex-boyfriend is difficult enough – but coping with your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend can sometimes be even harder.
Regardless of her personality, looks or interests, your partner’s ex-girlfriend is always going to be difficult to warm to, for the simple reason that she dated your boyfriend before you.
She can tell when he’s sad, she was there when his parents got divorced, she’s seen him cry, she’s seen him naked – she’s basically fulfilled the exact same purpose as you, except she came first.
Of course worrying about it all is a complete waste of time - exes are exes for a reason and chances are if your partner was in a serious relationship with them, they're probably more like you than you think. But that’s the thing – when it comes to the boyfriend’s ex, all reason flies out of the window.
We should let it go, we should make peace with it and we shouldn't let jealousy be a dark cloud over our relationship, but sometimes we really can't help it.
Here are 15 things you will understand if you've ever struggled to cope with a boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend… 1) First bringing up the awkward conversation of exes with your boyfriend and despite trying so hard to sound cool, coming across as a complete maniac... ‘Who was she? How long were you together? How did you break up? Why did you break up? Did you love her? Did you cry when you broke up? Do you still see her? Do you still love her? Am I just a rebound?’
2) Stalking 'her' on Facebook (for the first time of many) and finding a mutual friend. Then proceeding to grill them for every single scrap of information about 'the ex'... ‘TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW!’
3) Social media stalking her so much that you come to know her profile picture order better than your own... And refraining from Facebook-ing next to your boyfriend out of fear that he'll see her name pop up in your recommended searches.
4) Only being able to hang out with friends who are prepared to condemn her wardrobe choices and criticize her hairstyle... This is when true girlfriends step up and prove themselves: reassuring you that you're prettier, funnier and much more desirable, emphasising how little of a contest it all is - even if it's a lie.
5) And having no tolerance or time for the friends who play devil’s advocate and defend her from time to time despite the fact that you know she has done nothing wrong... ‘What do you know about anything?’
6) That awful moment when after stalking her Instagram photos back to 2010, your hand slips and you accidentally ‘like’ a 6-year-old photo of the two of them... And then genuinely consider faking your own death to get out of dealing with it.
7) Slyly looking through your partner's old Facebook messages even though you know you'd go livid if he did it to you... And reading old conversations between him and his ex, then decoding them with your best friend.
8) Bringing 'her' up in conversation occasionally, just to see your boyfriend's reaction… And then scanning his face for any visible signs of longing.
9) Trying your hardest to get your partner’s friends and family to prefer you to the ex… And subtly competing with her at every chance you get… 'homemade cupcake anyone?’
10) Recognising her name on a potential client/party guest list at your work and using your powers to have it removed and blacklisted...‘Can we have her taken off the list please? Oh, no reason why’
11) Drunkenly asking your boyfriend if he loves you more than he did ‘her’ at some point… And then waking up the next morning feeling mortified.
12) Then trying to make it better by acting very cool whenever her name is mentioned, pretending not to even know she exists. ‘Hmm never heard of her, Sophie, who?'
13) When you actually run into ‘her’, physically gluing yourself to your boyfriend’s side and marking your territory in a very obvious way... Despite usually hating PDA.
14) Actually and annoyingly really liking her when you eventually get to know her, being torn between wanting to hate her but also now wanting to be her friend... ‘Is it weird if we’re friends?’
15) At some point having that sudden realization that you’re someone’s ex too and there must be a girl out there thinking all of these things about you... Time to make our Instagram profiles private!
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Jenny Proudfoot is an award-winning journalist, specialising in lifestyle, culture, entertainment, international development and politics. She has worked at Marie Claire UK for seven years, rising from intern to Features Editor and is now the most published Marie Claire writer of all time. She was made a 30 under 30 award-winner last year and named a rising star in journalism by the Professional Publishers Association.
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