Pass go, collect $200, move onto the next stage in your relationship...
Words by Megan C. Hills
So let’s say you’ve started dating somebody new. You’re in those early stages when the small talk gradually gives way to a moment of side-splitting laughter, you have your first deep conversation and you leave each date hoping for the next. Commitment’s on the horizon, but you still don’t know each other that well and you’re looking for signs of a good relationship but don’t know where to start.
Dating veterans took to a recent AskReddit thread to depart their knowledge on those in exactly that predicament, answering the question ‘What are some “green flags” in a relationship?’. There were a few common themes – communication, sociability and sharing the same sense of humour trumped above all else – and there were also a few heartwarming anecdotes. Who knows, maybe their advice might be the push you need to lock a prospective partner down.
They need to make an effort with your friends
‘Always asking about you, wanting to include you in their life/meet their friends, following through in small promises’ – dontbother442
‘They make an effort to get along with and get to know your friends, particularly the ones of their same gender’ – pdxemf
As the age old saying goes, ‘If you wanna be my lover’…
You laugh at all the same dumb things
‘When you’re about to make a joke and they make the same joke seconds before it is out of your mouth’ – fuschszugzwang
‘Just being on the same wavelength in general. Making the same or similar jokes when talking or having the same reaction to something you see…things like that’ – missevanna
The worst thing in the world is when you crack what you thought was a funny joke, only to be met with deafening silence. It’s always nice to know that someone’s always going to get your offbeat sense of comedy and that you can both laugh till you cry together.
Communication is queen
‘When you fight, you’re really just problem solving together. Sure it gets heated, but there’s a line of civility and respect that doesn’t get crossed and you’re both trying to identify obstacles/conflicts and traverse/resolve them’ – baliness10
You can’t start fixing a problem if you don’t even talk about it. (If you’re having problems chatting about things, apparently people are more prone to spilling secrets after sex.)
They’re genuinely interested in your life
‘When they pay attention and they actually remember the little things you have said before..’ – lilbeanies
‘If they remember things you have said, or notice things about the way you act’ – partofbreakfast
And on the flip side, if all they ever do is talk about themselves then you might want to steer clear.
Sometimes, a green flag is a moment when your partner does something that makes everything fall into place. Like for instance reddit user swiftasacoursinriver3’s own experience, ‘When my husband left to go run an errand he called me and said there’s someone walking two super cute dogs down our road so I left the garbage can on the curb so you would have an excuse to be outside and maybe you can have a chance to pet them’.
If someone did that for us, we’d probably marry them too.