From stellar parenting tips to general hilarity, we've rounded up all the times Ryan Reynolds absolutely killed it on Twitter
If you follow Ryan Reynolds’ Twitter account, then you’ll know that he posts some of the funniest, laugh-til-it-hurts tweets, ever. Yep, there’s no doubt about it. Scrolling through Ryan’s Twitter feed kills us. Every. Single. Time.
Whether it’s wishing his true love, Billy Ray Cyrus, a happy birthday (then casually mentioning his wife, Blake Lively, later), or giving expert parent advice, his timeline is guaranteed to make even the most serious of people crack a smile. What’s more, his random musings about the ways of the world are milk-through-the-nose funny.
He became a father for the first time in 2014 to daughter, James, and Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds welcomed baby number two earlier this year. We’re sure to be treated to even more of his gems of parenting wisdom, now that he has another child to be at the centre of his wittiest quips. Here’s hoping that James and her sibling never, ever have to see their dad’s Twitter account.
We defy you not to laugh at least once as you scroll through this round up: Here are 25 times we just couldn’t help but LOL at Ryan Reynolds’ tweets…
Follow Ryan’s latest side splitting Tweets at @VancityReynolds.
Ryan Reynolds tweets about fatherhood
We sincerely hope that he’s joking with all of these…
On our 6am walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it's in heaven, visiting daddy's freedom.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 16, 2016
Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 30, 2017
Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 22, 2016
No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 7, 2016
My infant daughter's traumatized for life. 50 Shades of Grey = Worst fucking coloring book ever.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 17, 2016
Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 19, 2016
This morning, my daughter said, "quiche" which means she's smart, hungry and an asshole.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 21, 2016
It's important kids eat 5 servings of vegetables daily. Even if childhood is just a dress-rehearsal for extraordinary adult suffering.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 29, 2016
Damn it's hard letting your infant daughter go somewhere alone for the first time. I was a total mess dropping her off at Burning Man.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 7, 2016
After this morning's diaper, my daughter finally earned the teardrop tattoo on her face.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 14, 2016
Totally caved and tossed my daughter the keys to the car. She looked really happy as they bounced off her tiny infant face.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 12, 2016
Being a father means responsibility. Not just for your main family, but also the secret one in Denmark nobody knows about.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2016
My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke's on her. She'll have to bury me someday.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) April 16, 2016
Tip: It's important parents take little "time outs" for themselves too. Even if you feel pretty guilty when you return 14 years later.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) May 3, 2016
Proud of my baby daughter placing last in her old-timey, bare-knuckle street fighting class. Congrats to her 31 year old opponent, Rick.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 7, 2016
I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 11, 2015
My daughter's only 6 months old and already drawing. I'd hang it on the fridge but honestly, it's absolute garbage.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2015
Ryan Reynolds tweets about family life
Whether it’s a heartfelt message about his wife, spending time with his mother or young nephew, or taking the mick out of his brother, Ryan Reynolds has got this family man thing down to a tee.
Just want to wish Billy Ray Cyrus the most special, magical birthday ever. I love you with all my heart. Also, Happy Birthday to my wife.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 25, 2016
So cute. Asked my mom out to lunch and she yelled, "Squad-Goals!". I laughed pretty hard before never ever seeing her again.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 21, 2015
Turns out Game of Thrones is NOT historically accurate. Apologies for calling my idiot 6 year old nephew an imbecile.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 29, 2016
Pretty sure it's my wife writing most of those. Sounds like her. https://t.co/V8wnAo19az
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 4, 2016
My brother used the word, "fleek" in a sentence, and I had trouble listening to the rest of our relationship.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) May 5, 2016
Ryan Reynolds is just genuinely funny on Twitter…
Sometimes there are no words to describe how funny a person is, so we’ll let Ryan’s tweets do the talking here.
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People in LA are deathly afraid of gluten. I swear to god, you could rob a liquor store in this city with a bagel.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 7, 2017
So what if I like drawing little hearts around @RealHughJackman's name. I can't be gangsta every second of the day.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 10, 2016
When somebody starts a sentence, "with all due respect…" it's almost guaranteed they're about to say something shitty.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) May 6, 2016
When someone's describing the route they took to work that day, I never know when the best moment is to take my life with fire.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 27, 2015
It's neat to have entire conversations using only "air quotes". Also, punching myself to death is fun.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 24, 2016
When I'm in Vancouver, I carry a yoga mat everywhere so people won't make fun of me.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 17, 2015
Oh, Ryan. How you keep us all amused. Please don’t stop being this funny – or delete your Twitter account – ever.
