What do you think?
‘I went on a date with Aziz Ansari. It turned into the worst night of my life.’
‘Grace’, a 23-year-old Brooklyn-based photographer described her experience dating the actor, explaining how she felt pressured into having sex with him.
‘I know I was physically giving off cues that I wasn’t interested. I don’t think that was noticed at all, or if it was, it was ignored,’ she explained.
She later recounted: ‘He sat back and pointed to his penis and motioned for me to go down on him. And I did. I think I just felt really pressured. It was literally the most unexpected thing I thought would happen at that moment because I told him I was uncomfortable.’
‘I just want to take this moment to make you aware of [your] behaviour and how uneasy it made me,’ read a message Grace sent to Aziz after the date, who replied: ‘Clearly, I misread things in the moment and I’m truly sorry.’
Of all the accounts of sexual misconduct to have been brought to light in the past few months, this has perhaps been the most controversial, dividing the internet over the issue of consent and who was at fault in this circumstance.
Did Aziz push his date too far or should she have spoken up more? Is he a sexual harasser or as some Twitter users have posted, is he simply ‘guilty of not being a mind reader?’
16 tweets debating the Aziz Ansari controversy
2. ‘Bad foreplay does not constitute sexual harassment’
3. ‘Consent has to be constant & comfortable’
4. ‘This is how and why women don’t speak up’
5. ‘That’s been the norm’
6. ‘Too passive to say no’
7. ‘You are ruining the #MeToo movement’
8. ‘Where are all of the people asking “Did she say yes?”‘
9. ‘She was a participant’
10. ‘Too many of us don’t say no’
11. ‘Not reading someone’s signals is not a criminal error’
12. ‘He wasn’t confused – that is abuse’
13. ‘If he assaulted you, press charges’
14. ‘Coercion and consent are two very different things’
15. ‘Sexual harasser’
16. ‘Victim blaming is unacceptable’
What do you think?
Let’s keep this conversation on consent open.