'Table for one, please!' Why solo dining is where it's at
Clare Thorp advocates the pure unadulterated pleasure of nobody nabbing your chips...
Clare Thorp advocates the pure unadulterated pleasure of nobody nabbing your chips...
Does the thought of saying, 'Table for one, please' bring you out in a cold sweat? If so, sounds like you're yet to discover the joys of solo dining. You wouldn’t be alone, as new research found that a third of us find dining by ourselves intimidating. Yet despite our fears, eating by ourselves is becoming increasingly common.
According to a recent Wellbeing Index, 29% of us eat alone most or all of the time - an increase from 26% six months earlier; though that figure largely reflects the solo eating we do in our homes (lemon curd on crumpets for dinner, anyone?). Increasingly, however, we’re also choosing to go solo when we eat out. Research by Open Table found that single restaurant reservations jumped 160% between 2014 and 2018.
In South Korea, dining alone has become such a trend they've invented a name for it - honbap. Over in Seoul it’s something to celebrate - and with the #solodining hashtag having over 15,000 posts on Instagram, it looks as though that feeling may be spreading here.
Although not everyone is embracing the idea of eating alone. Health experts argue that the increase in people eating alone is a concern, flagging up research that links solo dining to depression, diabetes and high-blood pressure, although on the upside others point to a rise in food-sharing initiatives which bring people together to eat and the benefits of communal dining.
But we all know there’s a huge difference in eating alone because you have no choice, and actively choosing to go solo. And while it’s true that sharing a meal with people you love is one of life’s greatest pleasures, it’s also the case that taking yourself out for a nice meal is one of the most underrated ones. For me, it beats the hell out of bath bombs as a form of self care.
There are obvious advantages. Firstly, you can go wherever you want, at whatever time you want. There’s no worrying whether everyone else will like the menu, or if there’s enough options for your veggie friends. You can just go where your cravings take you. I’ve ducked out of the rain to slurp ramen at 4pm (without worrying about splattering broth all over my dining companion), worked my way through three courses of pasta (no dining companion, no judgement) at the counter of a fancy Italian restaurant on a Wednesday lunchtime and ordered a whole baked Camembert (‘serves two’ …as if) for dinner.
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When you’re solo you can often get a seat at places otherwise impossible to score a table at. I’ve leapfrogged my way to a solitary seat at the bar while groups stand shivering by the door. That’s something restaurants are also doing more of now - having casual, bar-style seating that makes turning up on your own feel a lot less like a big deal.
London’s Taiwanese restaurant Xu has gone one further with a cosy booth made just for one. In Japan, they’ve really gone all out on the concept with one chain, Ichirin, serving diners in solo booths through bamboo curtains, so you don’t even see a waiter, let alone another diner. They call it ‘low-interaction’ dining. While I quite like the idea of a steaming bowl of noodles suddenly appearing in front of me, being sealed off in an office-like booth takes away half the fun. After all, one of the best things about eating out alone is the people watching.
Though the real pleasure of dining solo is, I think, an under-appreciated one. It’s the simple act of having someone carefully prepare a meal for you, place it down in front of you, ask you how it is and take the dishes away afterwards. In short, have someone feed you. And someone else do the washing up. It’s alarming how infrequently that can happen if you’re single or live on your own (and your friends aren’t in the habit of throwing dinner parties) and how lovely it can feel when it does.
If you’re worried what other people think, don’t. When was the last time you saw a woman sat on her own, eating a delicious plate of food, reading a book, and thought anything other than ‘that looks like a bloody good time’? There’s nothing pathetic about going for a meal on your own. After all, it’s a date with someone you love. Plus, there’s no one trying to steal your chips.
Going solo?
Five ways you've got this... Sit at the bar: If the thought of sitting opposite an empty chair bothers you, go to a restaurant where you can sit at the bar or counter. Or ask for a seat at the window, where you can watch the world go by.
Take a prop: No, not your phone. A book or a magazine will help you feel more comfortable - though staring into space is completely acceptable.
Talk to people: The waiter. The bartender. Other diners. Being alone doesn’t mean you can’t engage with others.
Enjoy your food: Like, really enjoy it. Dining solo gives you the chance to savour every delicious bite of your meal.
Don’t worry about what others think: Chances are they’re jealous you get to dive into your pasta without having to pause for polite conversation.
Maria Coole is a contributing editor on Marie Claire.
Hello Marie Claire readers – you have reached your daily destination. I really hope you’re enjoying our reads and I'm very interested to know what you shared, liked and didn’t like (gah, it happens) by emailing me at: maria.coole@freelance.ti-media.com
But if you fancy finding out who you’re venting to then let me tell you I’m the one on the team that remembers the Spice Girls the first time round. I confidently predicted they’d be a one-hit wonder in the pages of Bliss magazine where I was deputy editor through the second half of the 90s. Having soundly killed any career ambitions in music journalism I’ve managed to keep myself in glow-boosting moisturisers and theatre tickets with a centuries-spanning career in journalism.
Yes, predating t’internet, when 'I’ll fax you' was grunted down a phone with a cord attached to it; when Glastonbury was still accessible by casually going under or over a flimsy fence; when gatecrashing a Foo Fighters aftershow party was easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy and tapping Dave Grohl on the shoulder was... oh sorry I like to ramble.
Originally born and bred in that there Welsh seaside town kindly given a new lease of life by Gavin & Stacey, I started out as a junior writer for the Girl Guides and eventually earned enough Brownie points to move on and have a blast as deputy editor of Bliss, New Woman and editor of People newspaper magazine. I was on the launch team of Look in 2007 - where I stuck around as deputy editor and acting editor for almost ten years - shaping a magazine and website at the forefront of body positivity, mental wellbeing and empowering features. More recently, I’ve been Closer executive editor, assistant editor at the Financial Times’s How To Spend It (yes thanks, no probs with that life skill) and now I’m making my inner fangirl’s dream come true by working on this agenda-setting brand, the one that inspired me to become a journalist when Marie Claire launched back in 1988.
I’m a theatre addict, lover of Marvel franchises, most hard cheeses, all types of trees, half-price Itsu, cats, Dr Who, cherry tomatoes, Curly-Wurly, cats, blueberries, cats, boiled eggs, cats, maxi dresses, cats, Adidas shelltops, cats and their kittens. I’ve never knowingly operated any household white goods and once served Ripples as a main course. And finally, always remember what the late great Nora Ephron said, ‘Everything is copy.’
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