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    1. Culture

    The toxic woman-blaming society that we live in needs changing fast

    'I am not a babysitter or a mother'

    Jenny Proudfoot's avatar
    By Jenny Proudfoot
    Published 11 September 2018 In News

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    'I am not a babysitter or a mother'

    It was announced last week that US rapper Mac Miller had died of a suspected drug overdose, found dead in his California home on Friday.

    There was an outpouring of love following the 26-year-old’s tragic death, with Mac having famously struggled with substance abuse for years. His ex girlfriend of two years, Ariana Grande, however did not receive the same treatment, who instead of receiving sympathy, was demonised by the internet and blamed by some for the rapper’s death, with the former couple breaking up earlier this year.

    A photo posted by on

    The God Is A Woman singer, who is now engaged to Pete Davidson, received such a backlash in fact that she was forced to disable her Instagram comments, after being bombarded with accusing messages that she was to blame - an example of the toxic woman-blaming culture that we live in.

    This is of course not the first time that Ariana has been accused as responsible for her former partner’s actions, having to publicly respond to a claim that his drunk driving accident a few months back was due to her new relationship.

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    ‘Mac Miller totalling his G wagon and getting a DUI after Ariana Grande dumped him for another dude after he poured his heart out on a ten song album to her called the divine feminine is just the most heartbreaking thing happening in Hollywood,’ tweeted one fan (Elijah Flint) in May.

    ‘How absurd that you minimise female self-respect and self-worth by saying someone should stay in a toxic relationship because he wrote an album about them, which btw isn’t the case (just Cinderella is ab me),’ Ariana publicly responded. ‘I am not a babysitter or a mother and no woman would feel that they need to be. I have cared for him and tried to support his sobriety & prayed for his balance for years (and always will of course) but shaming / blaming women for a man’s inability to keep his shit together is a very major problem. Let’s please stop doing that.’

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    She continued: ‘Of course I didn’t share about how hard or scary it was while it was happening but it was. I will continue to pray from the bottom of my heart that he figures it all out and that any other woman in this position does as well.’

    A photo posted by on

    Ariana has yet to speak out since the tragic death of her ex boyfriend but she has made a silent tribute, posting a black and white photo of the 26-year-old.

    Our thoughts are with Ariana Grande and Mac Miller’s family at this tragic time - we shouldn't be tearing each other down, and we need to stop in order to change our society for the better.

    Jenny Proudfoot
    Jenny Proudfoot
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    Contributing Features Editor

    Jenny Proudfoot is an award-winning journalist, specialising in lifestyle, culture, entertainment, international development and politics. After working at Marie Claire UK for seven years - rising from intern to Features Editor - she is now a freelance contributor to the News and Features section.

    In 2021, Jenny was named as a winner on the PPA's '30 under 30' list, and was also listed as a rising star in journalism.

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