Dear Dolly: "None of my Co workers at my new job know I suffer with depression"

What Would Dolly Pawton Do?

Dolly Pawton Marie Claire Columnist

What Would Dolly Pawton Do?

Cornwall 14.32 pm

Not my normal setting for writing but I am not complaining and certainly beats the hustle of Soho - elbows out to reach the very last table with power supply.

I am sitting looking out at sea and you could easily mistake it for a tropical island. The water is so clear, like my conscious, turquoise blue in colour, like the last f*ck boys heart and with any hope a passing Jelly fish is the only fight I may have this afternoon. Yes I’m on vacay in the U.K and loving every damn minute of it. The freedom of the country and down time from my obsession with fast pace living is something I like to visit every few months. It levels out the surges of adrenaline and gives my resting bitch face a break! I am pleasant in the country – well, I try to be!

Something that has been hot topic of conversation in holiday prep in the office and at home, “The perfect body.” Now I know we have an amazing body positivity movement out there headlined by my very own BFF Tess Holiday @ “eff your beauty standards” and it has led the way for worldwide beauty to be seen.

I am specifically talking about people in social media and media discussing and applying subconscious messages of body shame onto anyone who is watching and let’s face it, it’s hard not to digest messages of negativity. When you are of an average weight yet projecting you are fat, that’s not body positivity. When you publicly speak of every single pound you have lost or gained, that’s not body positivity. When you say you need to stop eating because you’ve put on a pound over the weekend…that is not body positivity. When will we as Women give ourselves permission to have a body and enjoy the beach? Wear the swimsuit we love? Not the one that covers what we have been made to hate! And when will we see humans that don’t need to fit into a stereotype body? Men don’t need to have muscles and Women don’t need to have large boobs! Why can’t we just celebrate our bodies and how amazing they are. They can do so much; they can all feel so good and look so good. As individuals we are all sexy and beautiful. Next time you worry about the correct attire, remember fashion is there to be discovered, explored and most of all worn. You know my view. You have an amazing body, whatever the size. Don’t let the media define you. If anything remove anything and anyone that is sending out these negative messages. You don’t need that in your life. You’re perfect just the way you are so find a beach and wear whatever you fucking please.

Yas Kweens!

Oh and PS. Confidence is the most attractive look you can wear! WERK!!!! *Flips hair back*

What Would Dolly Pawton Do?

Dear Dolly,

I know you discuss mental health on your Instagram and your Mums are very open and honest. I guess my question is how? How can you be open about how you are feeling? None of my Co workers at my new job know I suffer with depression. I am well at the moment and have moderate control. I am in talking therapy with the offer of medication in the coming months to add to my therapy.

I know there should be no sigma, but I do feel embarrassed at times and don’t want anyone knowing I have depression. How can I let people know without thinking they will think the worst of me?

Thank you Dolly. I love you.

S from Coventry.

Hi S,

First of all thank you for your Dear Dolly.

Mental health is always in our inbox and in our hearts. Which is exactly where it should be. We all have brains and they all need to be kept healthy. Some are naturally healthier than others. Just like other parts of our bodies. Some of us need more help with keeping our brains in tip top working order.

How can there be shame in that? There is no shame in it! If you were to have another part of your body that wasn’t working 100% you’d tell everyone with no hesitation. For example I have a sore knee, I can’t do the stairs today. Everyone (well the well rounded humans would mostly help) and allow you what you needed. There maybe the one that raises their eyes and wonder if you could indeed do the stairs but we all know that would be a silly idea and set any recovery back. Your mental health is exactly the same. There is NO shame with any part of your body needing support. We all need support and more than you know need mental health support. Unless we discuss with each other there are others who feel just like my Mums do and just as you do right now. I know it’s difficult to express what you’re going through to people in your work place. You’ll be surprised just how many are feeling like you. Be proud of identifying your depression. That’s power! Own it! It’s yours. Gain strength in it. Don’t be ashamed of your story. It will inspire others.

If you’re open enough about your journey you’ll find people will open up to you too. Not everything is how it appears to be in people’s lives. Continue to follow your therapist and Drs advice but know your limits and be vocal about them. Anyone who doesn’t choose to listen then speak louder! If that doesn’t work, I am aways here to get the message out loud and clear. You can rely on me for that, for sure. Take care of yourself and make you, your number one priority. Don’t hide from your feelings. Live them and take your time. Try to not allow your dark days to cloud your vision. You’re doing incredibly well, never forget that. You’re a warrior. I’m proud of you.

Keep in touch.

London love

Dolly Pawton xx

Dolly Pawton

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