Returning to the office soon? 4 ways to reboot your verbal confidence

Whether you're excited to be around people again or dreading it, here’s how verbal confidence techniques can make all the difference

verbal confidence

Whether you're excited to be around people again or dreading it, here’s how verbal confidence techniques can make all the difference

As we speed along to June 21 and the grand unlocking, the prospect of being around people again becomes real, very real and some of you may be finding the reality of it strangely daunting. What will we say to each other once we’re back in the office/workplace? We’ve got so used to living in our little bubble, communicating intermittently, often digitally, with a small circle of friends and family… so inevitably there’s a certain amount of social anxiety.

Will we clam up? Or babble incoherently? Will we be unfiltered, or over filtered in terms of what we say? How will we cope with having to be ‘on’ all the time? Will we feel exhausted after half an hour in the company of other people and want to crawl back to the safety of home?

You're not alone, office life can be daunting

If your job or studies are soon to involve being around other people again, you may have mixed feelings. Research from Microsoft says almost two-thirds of the more than 31,000 full-time employed or self-employed workers polled said that they were “craving” (yes, craving) more in-person time with their teams. Yet the enthusiasm is tempered with apprehension. Shermeena Rabbi, speech therapist, has seen an increase in adults wanting help with building their verbal confidence so they can cope with the demands of being around people all day IRL. The challenge of conducting team meetings, pitches and presentations can be especially daunting.

verbal confidence

Unlocking Language Sharmeena Rabbi

“On top of the apprehension around commuting and having to talk to people all day when we've been used to being alone, there's also the anxiety about the communication demands of work," says Rabbi. "But the fact is these are simply social skills we develop between the ages of zero to seven, so they’re innately built in. You can’t lose them. It's the confidence around using them appropriately that’s been impacted and in some cases this has turned into social anxiety, affecting people’s verbal skills.”

Here Shermeena advises on how can we get our verbal confidence back and feel comfortable whether we’re catching up with colleagues, running a meeting or doing a presentation.

1. The Zoom effect

Zoom talk is not normal and this has made the flow of our speech disjointed. “There are lots of pauses when you talk on a screen, and you have to take it in turns to speak in a way that’s not naturalistic, so you may need a bit of time to adapt to the normal flow of real-life face to face communication,” says Rabbi. This means you may want to keep the conversation with colleagues short - or may even clam up. Alternatively you may talk very fast and incoherently while you get used to the normal exchange of conversation. “Just give it time, pace yourself and this will start to feel normal again soon."

2. Spontaneity

When we communicate online we have time to prepare, because we know what we're meeting for. But if you're meeting with your manager or colleagues in the office, those spontaneous conversations might feel a bit of a strain at first. “We’ve been living in our heads far more over the last few months, so suddenly having to think on our feet and respond spontaneously may feel like too much pressure, which could result in some stammering-like behaviour, repetition of sounds and words, lack of clarity and loss of fluency. Keep your breathing slow when talking so you’ve got enough air to get the words out, which will slow you down and help you enunciate better,” says Shermeena.

3. Catch your breath

Strengthening your verbal output means thinking about your pace – which means breathing right. “Use diaphragmatic breathing so you can converse at a good and understandable pace, without rushing through and stumbling on your words,” advises Rabbi. “And use strategic pauses when you’re talking so you can think about what you’re saying and avoid using ‘filler words’ like umm and err,” she adds.

4. Warm-ups and warm down

Your vocal cords may be unused to three hour meetings nowadays, so do some vocal warm-ups to help you project your voice throughout the day. Drink lots of water to keep the throat moist and give yourself plenty of rest once you get home. Says Shermeena: “Don’t be surprised if you’re extra-tired in the first few weeks. People are already finding socialising exhausting - even a trip to the pub with a few friends can be a little overwhelming after months of being cooped up - so add work to the mix and you’re going to need plenty of down time.”

* Find out more about speech therapist Sharmeena Rabbi at Unlocking Language

Maria Coole

Maria Coole is a contributing editor on Marie Claire.

Hello Marie Claire readers – you have reached your daily destination. I really hope you’re enjoying our reads and I'm very interested to know what you shared, liked and didn’t like (gah, it happens) by emailing me at: maria.coole@freelance.ti-media.com

But if you fancy finding out who you’re venting to then let me tell you I’m the one on the team that remembers the Spice Girls the first time round. I confidently predicted they’d be a one-hit wonder in the pages of Bliss magazine where I was deputy editor through the second half of the 90s. Having soundly killed any career ambitions in music journalism I’ve managed to keep myself in glow-boosting moisturisers and theatre tickets with a centuries-spanning career in journalism.

Yes, predating t’internet, when 'I’ll fax you' was grunted down a phone with a cord attached to it; when Glastonbury was still accessible by casually going under or over a flimsy fence; when gatecrashing a Foo Fighters aftershow party was easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy and tapping Dave Grohl on the shoulder was... oh sorry I like to ramble.

Originally born and bred in that there Welsh seaside town kindly given a new lease of life by Gavin & Stacey, I started out as a junior writer for the Girl Guides and eventually earned enough Brownie points to move on and have a blast as deputy editor of Bliss, New Woman and editor of People newspaper magazine. I was on the launch team of Look in 2007 - where I stuck around as deputy editor and acting editor for almost ten years - shaping a magazine and website at the forefront of body positivity, mental wellbeing and empowering features. More recently, I’ve been Closer executive editor, assistant editor at the Financial Times’s How To Spend It (yes thanks, no probs with that life skill) and now I’m making my inner fangirl’s dream come true by working on this agenda-setting brand, the one that inspired me to become a journalist when Marie Claire launched back in 1988.

I’m a theatre addict, lover of Marvel franchises, most hard cheeses, all types of trees, half-price Itsu, cats, Dr Who, cherry tomatoes, Curly-Wurly, cats, blueberries, cats, boiled eggs, cats, maxi dresses, cats, Adidas shelltops, cats and their kittens. I’ve never knowingly operated any household white goods and once served Ripples as a main course. And finally, always remember what the late great Nora Ephron said, ‘Everything is copy.’