Seven Signs You Are A Total Commitmentphobe

To celebrate the release of Amy Schumer's hilarious Trainwreck here are some pretty obvious clues you're not for settling down

Trainwreck Amy Schumer

Here are some pretty obvious clues you're not one for settling down...

Here’s seven signs that you might not be ready to settle down just yet…

1. You Can’t Remember The Last Time You Got Past The First Date

You blame this on the types of guys you’re dating but secretly you pick them because you know they will never be Mr Right and therefore you can easily get away with never having to see them again.

2. Weddings = Hives

Although you are like, totally happy, for your friends whenever they get married, you just can’t imagine ever doing it yourself. In fact the only way you can get through a wedding is with copious amounts of wine and an illicit snog with the best man (who you will never call again, natch)

3. It’s You Who Doesn’t Text Back

There’s an undying cliché that women spend their whole days sitting by their phones waiting for a man to call. With you, he did call it’s just you didn’t pick up. Or reply to his texts… Or that email he sent you.

4. Your Mum Has Stopped Asking About Your Dating Life

She knows the drill by now. Well done, Mum.

5. Also Speaking Of Your Mum…

She’s definitely not someone a guy you’ve been dating has ever met.

6. You Hate Labels

And you haven’t updated your relationship on Facebook in years. What? You’re happy with the way things are going, there’s no need to ruin it with a little word like BOYFRIEND.

7. You Sabotage EVERYTHING

If you do happen to chance upon a nice guy then you will ruin it. In fact, you’re just kind of mean.

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