On his 59th birthday, we take a look at why Bruce Willis will always have a place in our hearts.
1. That One Show interview
When Bruce Willis appeared on the One Show last February to promote his latest Die Hard movie, his interview was branded as 'awkward, incoherent and cringe-worthy' by the world's press. Some viewers even had the audacity to call Bruce 'ignorant.' Now, I don't know if I was watching the wrong interview or something, because the episode I saw with Mr Willis was HILARIOUS. Clearly bored with insipid questions from TV hosts, Brucey decided to turn the tables and ask presenters Matt Baker and Alex Jones what they thought of the title of his new film.
'I'll ask you guys, what about the title? Are you confused by it?', the actor said (sorry, drawled). 'It's a difficult title. A Good Day to Die Hard? It's like, have a sandwich and let's go shopping - then Die Hard.'
The man's right. It is a difficult title! And what's more, he can laugh at it – and himself. In my humble opinion, Bruce was merely responding to some, let's face it, pretty weak questions from the presenters (which included them asking what he was going to do about an asteroid hitting earth, and what his opinion was of a mock up of them pretending to be in Die Hard). And in case I haven't already mentioned: this was the ONE SHOW. The poor man felt moved to apologise to BBC viewers for his performance. Well, I think we all need to say sorry to Bruce.
2. The time he wore a dressing gown
As if on a roll from his One Show win, Bruce then appeared on Daybreak with Kate Garraway wearing a dressing gown. Not just a dressing gown, but a dressing gown over a shirt and trousers. Innovative. What makes this all even better is that neither Bruce, nor Kate, refers to the robe at all throughout the interview. It's just there. Instead, they talk about the time Bruce Willis tried to shoot a bee dead. Yes, a bee.
3. He's friends with his ex
It may seem like an obvious thing to say, given the volume of muscle on his body, but no one needs to tell Bruce to man up. Willis really is as stoic as they come. Just take his attitude towards ex-wives. When he and Demi Moore split up in 2000 after 13 years of marriage, not only did he remain friends with his ex-wife, but he became mates with her new partner, Ashton Kutcher, too. He even attended their wedding. If that isn't a display of one man's pure inner strength, I don't know what is.
4. His hair...
There are few people in the world who look better without any hair on their head, but Bruce is one of them. If you've seen Bruce with a full head of hair (the pictures are hard to come by), then you'll no doubt agree that he suits being follically challenged. That scalp's so glossy you can probably see your face in it. Or eat your dinner off of it. Your choice. No, it seems Bruce is more into eating hair than having any of his own, as this brilliant picture of the actor chewing Julia Roberts's shiny mane proves. What a joker.
5. That white vest
Today might be Brucey's 59th birthday, but that doesn't mean he can no longer run around wielding a gun and punching people. He's like a cat with a billion lives. This year, we've got a new Sin City to look forward to, as well as The Prince (in which Willis plays a Las Vegas crime boss forced out of retirement to beat up some people, natch). And Bruce is currently filming Vice II, which doesn't sound like a romcom. The day Bruce Willis finally hangs up his white vest, will be a sad day for us all.