Woman overhears and live tweets the most awful ‘date’ of all time

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  • 'I don't look at menus. And I'm ordering for us.'

    A woman has live tweeted what sounds like the most awful date of all time. Twitter user Kelly Fine was at a restaurant (we presume on her own) sitting next to an anonymous couple and began to tune in when she realised the man on the date was a complete berk.

    Her attention was first caught when the man said ‘I don’t look at menus. And I’m ordering for us.’ A little like that lovely chap Cal from Titanic (‘She’ll have the lamb. You like lamb, right sweetpea?’ Um, patronising much?)

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    But things were set to get much, much worse.

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    As our mother always said, never trust a man who’s rude to serving staff.

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    Sake. She said she wanted sake. That’s a drink you might find out about if you ever bothered to open a menu.

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    Why does he not look at menus?

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    We don’t want to know how that sentence ends.

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    Is this mystery heart-breaker some kind of actor? Singer? Dancer?

    What was the promotional tour for?

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    Oh.

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    Creepy man.

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    DUDE JUST LOOK AT THE MENU

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    To the horror of Kelly, the Date Tweeter, at this point it becomes clear that the two appear to be further down the line of their ‘relationship’ than originally assumed – what with how awful the guy seems it would be easy to assume this was a first date.

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    Then he commits the cardinal ‘little head’ sin:

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    To add insult to injury…

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    Then we discover his occupation.

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    And his ownership of a Make America Great Again hat (delivered with charming side of anti-semitism…)

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    WHAT A LOVELY GUY

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    That’s a massive relief. Now get out of there before the food arrives!

    Oh – too late…

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    But just as it looked like the Date Tweeter was gearing up for a rescue mission, disaster struck:

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    So she did a Twitter poll (which – at the time of her tweets – suggested she should ask for the menu):

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    After a few more unsavoury exchanges, it transpires that they’re friends (unless she’s just too embarrassed to admit she’s going out with him? That is also very possible)

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    Of course, as all good (or bad) stories must come to an end, our valiant Tweeter eventually leaves.

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    To the anonymous woman, from the rest of us: Life is way too short to have ‘friends’ or ‘boyfriends’ like Tony.

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