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All the CLOTHES

Words by Whitney & Megan of What Wegan Did Next

Life is so much easier when you’ve found your BFF. The one who you can tell everything to, that you can go shopping with and share make-up tips with. She’s also your lover, soul mate and partner in life. The perks of being in a feminine lesbian relationship are endless…

1. Your wardrobe doubles

If you’re lucky enough to date someone the same size as you then you get to share clothes. We’re often complemented on our outfits and straight women tend to be so jealous that we get to share clothes. Plus, no more picking up smelly socks or boxer shorts from the floor!

2. You have the perfect excuse when shopping

Everything is literally half price. ‘These jeans are £100, but technically that’s £50 each so totally justifiable’ or ‘this expensive eye cream can be shared by the both of us, what a bargain!’

3. You get to share make-up and beauty tips

You have your own in-house bestie who can help you do your make-up and give you tips. Plus, if you’re the same make-up shade, you get to share make-up. You’ll also never have to paint your own nails again. #winningatlife

femme lesbian relationship

4. Every night is like a sleepover

Want a night of face masks whilst eating popcorn and watching a romcom? Check. Want a night of drinking champagne and dancing the night away? Check. Want someone to help you cook dinner? Check. Want to literally Netflix & Chill? Check.

5. The chores get shared

Your natural skills in doing household chores can be split or shared. One of you can vacuum whilst the other mops. One of you does the bins as the other one empties the dishwasher. #teamwork

femme lesbian relationship

6. The toilet seat always stays down

Not much more needs to be said here.

7. Your partner truly understands period pains/PMS

No need to explain how bad your cramps are, instead you’re handed chocolate and a hot water bottle. You can cry over not having donuts and how much you love your cats — no judgement.

femme lesbian relationship

8. The perfect BFF

You always have your bestie by your side. Whether that’s getting your nails done together or attending a work or family meal. No more ‘boy’s night out’ and being left alone.

femme lesbian relationship

9. Home decor on point

No need to compromise your style — your house can be as girly as you want it to be without the need of having a ‘man den/boys’ room.’

femme lesbian relationship

10. Mind, body and soul

You can intensely connect on every level, from communicating and discussing problems to mind-blowing sex. No-one knows women’s bodies better than women themselves.

femme lesbian relationship

Whilst our relationship has so many perks, that’s not to say we don’t share our own set of unique problems that go beyond fighting over the same outfit. We also have to put up with not being believed that we’re gay or a couple. Even though one of us is American and the other British, we often get asked by strangers ‘are you sisters?’

If we decide to tell them that we’re a gay couple, we’re often met with disbelief and often in an awkward situation of feeling like we have to ‘prove’ we are a couple. We’ve even showed them our wedding bands and Civil Partnership photos. We’re not quite sure why there is a fascination to find out about our relationship. Pretty sure they don’t go up to a guy and a girl to ask, ‘Are you brother and sister?’

We have men gate-crashing our dates, and when we tell them that we’re lesbian, they take that as their cue to offer their ‘services’. Don’t even get us started on being told ‘but you’re too pretty to be gay’ (how does beauty equate to sexuality?!) and ‘you just haven’t met the right man’ (our response often is to tell them the same thing, which shuts up a straight man pretty fast).

Sadly, we’re also often not accepted as being legitimately gay within the LGBTQ community and find ourselves being told we can’t enter a gay bar or looked at like we don’t belong. We’ve heard countless stories from other femme LGBTQ women to know how often this is experienced, and sadly we’ve heard how it continues when you have children and you’re asked who is the mum. However, we strive for femme representation in the media and real life to keep on shattering stereotypes and showing the world that you can be happy, gay and live a happy life with your wife and children.

Disclaimer: These are our perks we experience as a femme lesbian couple, however this isn’t to say that other type of lesbian, gay or straight relationships don’t experience these perks or many others, too.

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