The key to realtionship success?
Wouldn’t it be terrific if there was a recipe for relationship success – a how-to guide to long term happiness in love…
Well, renowned relationship expert, Esther Perel, has spent her career speaking to couples about their partnerships (examining the ways in which they communicate and connect) and recently she created a video for Business Insider detailing the key things happy couples have in common.
She believes the secret to a happy relationship can be simplified to these three elements:
1.‘They remain curious about each other’
Does your partner constantly finish your sentences, pre-empt your responses and make decisions based on how well they think they know you? Well, although that may sound like you have a cute symbiotic thing going on, it may not be such a good thing happiness-wise. Thriving couples ask lots of questions about each other, remain interested in their partner’s opinions and don’t anticipate what the other one is going to say.
2.‘They are genuinely happy for their partner’
They are generous with their support. They are able to experience real pleasure when something good happens to their partner, regardless of the impact it may have on them. They’re able to show unadulterated kindness and admiration– they are their partner’s biggest cheerleader, even if the situation or achievement has nothing to do with them. Basically, everyone wants to come home to their own biggest fan – be that person and expect the same in return.
3.‘They maintain their own personal lives in a relationship’
They respect each other’s independence and individuality. The happiest couples encourage their partner to forge and maintain an identity outside of the relationship – hobbies, passions, friendships and career pursuits that allow them to be the best, most fulfilled version of themselves. Rather than draining each other by not giving their partner the space and freedom to nurture a world of their own.