21 things you know if you’re a shoe addict

‘I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes’

My name is Penny, and I’m a shoe addict. And if you’re reading this, chances are you are too. Which is why you’ll probably relate to most of these (and if you don’t, don’t judge me).

1. You used to watch MTV Cribs just to see the celebs’ extravagant shoe closets. Mariah Carey’s was utter life goals.

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2. You plan your outfit from the shoes up, not the other way round.

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3. You own the same pair of shoes in different colours. Because if you find your perfect pair, might as well.

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4. You’re so used to breaking in new shoes, you don’t even need Compeed anymore.

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5. You genuinely get excited about shoe storage at Ikea. That Ställ cabinet? Come to mama.

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6. Forget cabin luggage, when you travel, you need an extra suitcase for your shoes.

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7. A pair of shoes is more often than not the first thing you buy when you get paid each month. Just take my money already.

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8. You get a bit irritated when your mother/partner/roommate comments, ‘ANOTHER pair of shoes? Don’t you have enough already?’. Clearly. Not.

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9. Nothing makes you happier than when someone comments on how nice your shoes are.

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10. Big asking Carrie to marry him (again) with a Manolo is basically your dream proposal.

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11. On that subject, you know when Carrie says, ‘I’ve spent $40,000 on shoes and I have no place to live? I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes’? That’s basically you, only perhaps slightly less dramatic.

12. You literally jump for joy when you find the last pair of shoes in the sale, in your size. Jackpot.

13. You’re a seasoned sample sale shopper. Hey, those discounted Louboutin heels won’t end up in your wardrobe by magic.

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14. You own several pairs of leopard print shoes, but they’re all different. No matter what your partner says. He’s just wrong.

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15. You have been known to buy a pair of shoes in a size up/down if your size is out of stock. They never fit.

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16. You will freely admit you have heels you can’t wear, ever, because they’re too high. But they’re so pretty, why would you ever get rid of them?

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17. Carrie Bradshaw is basically a goddess to you. Though she does annoy you a lot. Seriously, who can afford that many designer heels and a New York apartment when they basically only write the one column a week?

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18. The mere thought of getting rid of any shoes makes you want to burst into tears. The last time you had a clear out, you actually went to re-buy your shoes from the charity shop. True story.

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19. Rainy days give you cold sweats. You just can’t deal with the catastrophe of wearing the wrong shoes.

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20. You have no preference: Heels, ballet pumps, mules, trainers, you love them all!

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21. Nothing makes you feel as fabulous as a new pair of shoes.

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