The dating type best left alone
Ladies, as if there weren’t enough Tinder creeps and aggressive wolf-whistlers to watch out for, a new phrase has been coined for a man you should definitely avoid: the ‘Cinderfella’.
According to Michelle Martin of The Huffington Post, who coined the phrase, the Cinderfella is a ‘middle-aged single man with an insatiable hunger for intense emotional and physical intimacy’.
‘Cinderfellas want passion! They want fireworks! They want to feel alive! They want to be rescued from their loneliness wastelands! And they want it all by the second or third date,’ Michelle writes. ‘We often think that only women want to be swept off their feet within minutes of meeting someone new, but I’ve discovered that this is not so – there are men out there, a whole lot of them in fact, who desire intense and immediate feet-sweeping as well.’
Basically, the myth that women are the only gender who want to be romanced is just that: a myth. The Cinderfella is alive and well, and crave the perfect whirlwind romance. They may also be needy, intense and obsessive – and not in a good way. If there is ever a good way.
According to Michelle, many Cinderfellas will have just come out of a long-term relationship and desperately seek the rush and excitement of first love again – and they’ll be in a hurry to, erm, consummate things swiftly.
If you find yourself falling in love with a Cinderfella, beware. It can definitely be exciting at the beginning, with grand gestures of love: flowers, poems and chocolates. In their rush to be romantic, they can sweep you off your feet in the process.
But the Cinderfella is not a long-term solution. He won’t stick around if things get hard and the thought of stable, everyday relationships terrifies him. If you’re after a quick fling, it could work – but it’s a dangerous game to play.
‘Even though Cinderfellas often act like Real Men, they’re actually more like boys,’ Michelle writes. ‘Real men are mature. Real men aren’t driven by impulse or emotional neediness. Real men recognise that intense and immediate intimacy is nothing more than instant gratification, which will burn out as quickly as it ignites.
‘Real men understand they must be whole and satiated before they can develop the capacity for an authentically intimate relationship, and they seek this same thing in a partner. Real men emerge slowly, and allow the women they date to emerge slowly as well. And real women know these truths as well.’
Have you ever dated a Cinderfella? Let us know on Twitter @marieclaireuk