Unless you’re a) the luckiest person in the world, or b) avoid all human contact and don’t have emotions, you will at some point in your life suffer heartbreak. And it hurts. Loads.
However, as anyone who has had a broken heart will tell you, the feeling that you’re about to vomit your heart out, the confusion, the sadness, the ‘But what’s wrong with me?!’ all goes and you eventually end up becoming a functioning member of society again.
So how long does it take to stop being a wallowing zombie?
According to marriage and family therapist, Paul Hokemeyer, 90 days.
Hmm, 90 days. Three months. 12 weeks. 2,160 hours. 24 binge watches of Netflix series.
We can’t tell if this is good or bad news just yet.
Anyway, over to Dr. Paul…
‘Right after a breakup, we are catapulted into the stages of fight, flight or freeze,’ he says. ‘In this place of reaction, we feel intense anger, terrifying anxiety or paralyzing depression. This intense stage typically last for the first 90 days of a breakup.’
OK, that’s the nasty bit, but why does it last for that set amount of time? Scientific evidence shows that it takes 90 days to bring change into your life and for your brain to reset itself. Once these 12 weeks have passed, the overwhelming hormonal activity subsides making it easier for you to see situations more clearly.
‘Rather than feeling the terror of abandonment, we are able to see that the breakup enabled us to avoid more intense pain, and [able] to learn valuable information about ourselves and who to let into our lives the next time,’ explains Dr. Hokemeyer.
Well that explains why you can suddenly switch from, ‘Oh god, I need them in my life! I’ll never find anyone like them again! Oh that perfect, mythical, human being!’ to, ‘Ugh. Gross. Can’t believe I went there. Bullet well and truly dodged.’
So to all you of you wondering if your heart has been replaced with a pulsating ball of pain, worry not, it’ll be over in 90 days. About how long your mascara would last, if you didn’t keep crying it off.