Marie Claire

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Women blamed for husbands straying

A couple making love

An author has claimed that women are to blame if their husbands stray.

The counsellor turned author, Gary Neuman, is likely to incur the wrath of every wife whose husband has cheated, saying that women should make certain changes in themselves, to avoid their partner's eyes from wandering.

Psychotherapist Neuman has written a guide for women advising them to always forgive their other halves, ensure sex is on tap and take an interest in their partner's hobbies.

His book, entitled Advice in The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It, has seen Neuman appear on Oprah Winfrey's show as well as in Time magazine. Neuman claims his relationship advice manual is 'dedicated to helping wives'.

Not surprisingly the book has been received badly by plenty of women across the globe.

'This is an appalling book,' said relationship psychologist and author, Susan Quilliam. 'It's more like dog-training than being in an honest, successful, adult relationship.'

Meanwhile Dorothy Ramsay, chairman of the Association for Family Therapy dubbed the book something of a joke. 'It depends whether you see marriage as so worthwhile that it's worth sacrificing one human being to sustain it.'

Mr Neuman's response is that he is simply trying to give women some useful advice. The book is based on his questioning of 25,500 men who have either remained faithful to their partners or strayed.

He found that nearly 90% of those who cheated put it down to 'significant dissatisfaction' in their marriage.

Mr Neuman said frankly: 'Men will eventually find their way into the arms of another if they are not getting enough sex at home.'

Monday 1 September 2008


Have your say ...

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I think this also insults men: it implies they are so weak that their partners have to pander to every demand in case the 'poor dears' have their heads turned by another woman!
Comment by Marie on September 01 12:39

I know of more than one case where the amount of sex had nothing to do with cheating. Nothing is that simple.
Comment by jenanne on September 01 12:42

Are ladies just another item to be used as the man wishes, I think not, it is unbelieveable in this day and age.
Comment by No bra burner on September 01 12:58

Note for this week, write a book on what men should do to stop their wives from straying LOL. Trouble is, where to start!
Comment by Sorrel Rice on September 01 12:58

This bloke is clearly mental He can't get a lot of sex with that attitude! What normal woman would just let their husband do what they wanted? Have we gone back in time? I think this man is a chauvinistic pig who clearly doesn't like women.
Comment by Michelle Turner on September 01 13:02

It is best to ignore such stupid comments as he is only saying these untruths to get attention and money. What a berk!
Comment by angie on September 01 14:03

So there's no such thing as a partnership, a compatibility of minds, talking things through about your needs in a relationship?
All a man is with you for is sex and if you don't give it to him all the time, he's just going to leave eventually?
Well, thanks for giving us women such optimism!
Comment by Sheenagh Lee on September 01 14:09

What about the women who aren't getting enough sex form their male partners!! and shouldn't a man also take an interest in their female partner's hobbies too. It's just an old fashioned excuse that fuels those who believe men an woman aren't equal.
Comment by SR on September 01 14:33

What a great excuse for men. As if it's ok if they don't get enough sex. Well it must be the wife's fault.
My bf would love to have sex 2-3 times a day. If I don't want it that much, does that give him the excuse to stray!
Sex should be loving and emotional, not something you feel you have to do to keep your husband.
Women don't view sex in the same way as men. Men often just want to get some without being aware of how their partner is feeling. While women want something more meaningful. Which is why every time as a woman you want to be special, not just a chore.
Comment by Rebecca on September 01 14:40

Bet hes not married.
Comment by Elaine on September 01 14:50

I'm afraid I agree, BUT...this is not just advice for women, men would do well do heed it to. There are plenty of women who'll eventually find their way into the arms of another if they're not getting enough. I don't object to the advice, I just think it's amazing in this day and age that it's given as a warning to women and not men.
Comment by laura withey on September 01 16:06

What a surprise! The author of this book is male... I can't see any woman writing this!
Comment by Juliet Kavanagh on September 01 17:29

I can't believe people have paid this man for advice! Outrageous misogynist.
Comment by Christina on September 01 18:07

This man disgusts me with his sexist, chauvinistic attitude. It's clear that this man sees women as inferior and only there to please men. It sickens me to read his "advice" on preventing men from straying. I think if a man cheated on me then he is clearly an unfaithful louse who doesn't deserve me. Mr Neuman should really rethink his disgusting book.
Comment by J Brown on September 01 18:28

I think this is wrong what the Mr Neuman has put. This will then scare people into giving sex to the male because they then will be scared he will leave them. Sex is PART of a relationship it shouldn't be used as a tool to get what people want!
Comment by Cheryl on September 01 19:20

Same goes for the women! Completely sexist and it as if we marry a man just to serve him with enough sex in the hope he doesn't stray I mean what is it all about we are not robots I think we just have to be cute about this one ladies what do you think? Make sure they are rich so when you do catch them out (not difficult) theres a nice divorce settlement awating.
Comment by sarah healy on September 01 20:22

Get outta here! This obviously isn't the guy who used to sing about 'Cars' - he had way more talent!
Comment by Sorrel on September 02 13:16

This sounds like complete rubbish! If a guy's gonna cheat, he'll do it whether he gets to have sex 2 times a day or 2 times a month! And in either case it is NOT the woman's fault because they chose to, not cos we made them by 'nothing giving them enough attention'!
Comment by Pamela on September 07 22:13

Has anyone commenting actually read his book? He says the number one reason for a man cheating is not sex, or lack of sex, but feeling unappreciated by his wife.
Comment by Brian on October 07 05:27

I focus all my energy on me; not about these fools cheating. I keep myself fit and sexy and understand the power of the WOMAN. My sexy younger boyfriend now makes sure he satisfies ME so I dont cheat!
Comment by wakeupwomen on June 17 20:50


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