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Women happy to play traditional wife?

By Carla Bevan on Thursday 28 August 2008

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Marie Claire Lifestyle News: Woman Cleaning

Women want life to back to pre-feminist times and are happy to play the stay-at-home housewife, according to new research published today, but we want to know: is this really true?

According to a recent survey of 1,500 adults, 40% of women claim 'financial stability' is one of the most important qualities they want in a man, while prowess in the garden is prized way above skills in the kitchen, or with a duster, come to that.

Men, meanwhile, want a wife who will take care of the home, cook, clean and be a good parent, and couldn't care less about what she earns or success at work.

Yorkshire Building Society, who conducted the research, said: 'A lot of women used to think they wanted a metrosexual man.

'But then they realised they were fed up with a man who spent longer in the bathroom than they did.

'Many women now feel they actually want a hunter-gatherer and they will look after their man in return.'

Do you agree, or has feminism just taken a huge step into the past? Leave your comments on the form below…

Thursday 28 August 2008

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Clearly only wags participated in this survey.
Comment by Rose on August 28 12:09

I don't doubt their data, but I do doubt their methods and the way they interpreted their data. They say that women want "a hunter-gatherer" in order to suggest that the sexual division of labour is natural. But they don't understand that according to this model, men are occasional hunters and women provide most of the food through gathering. More importantly, according to the hunter-gatherer model, 'women's work' is valued as much - or almost as much - as 'men's work'. In our society, raising children and looking after the home are the least valued, lowest paid work.
Most women just want to feel valued. The data probably reveals that they still don't feel appreciated.
Comment by anthropologist on August 28 20:06

Thing is, as a man, I can appreciate women thinking that financial stability is one of the most important qualities in a man, because I also happen to think it's one of the most important qualities that I want in myself to bring to a relationship.

However, do men really believe that it's important for a woman to be a good parent? If so, then men have got to realise that the educational achievements of their children are going to be most heavily influenced by the level of education of whoever spends the most time with them. And if it's the man who goes out to work and the woman who stays at home to look after the kids, then that person is going to be the mother.

And if a single woman has a very good level of education, then, chances are, she's going to be quite a high-flyer in her career. And that's why high-flyers are attractive to men.

I realise that this might sound counter-intuitive to those who have been told that women have to make a choice between work and family, but that's the way it is. If you don't take your education, your social skills and your language skills seriously, then you greatly reduce your chances of capturing and holding a decent sugar daddy.

Being able to cook and clean is of some importance, but only to the extent that it's necessary to create a conducive environment for the upbringing of children. Beyond that, I think men don't really give a monkeys about it. Men certainly won't respect you if your ability to clean is the only good thing you have to say about yourself.

The most important thing is not to be an air-head. Men fear that children who are brought up by air-heads become air-heads themselves. Men aren't going to be happy about being expected to punch high in their careers and businesses if they don't think their children can realistically follow in their footsteps.

To sum up - a woman's level of education is very very important indeed to men.
Comment by Fred on September 02 10:10

I personally would like a mix. I definitely would like to stay home and raise my children while they are young, but I also value my own professional success and being able to contribute to the financial well being of my family. I'm striving to become accomplished enough to do freelance administrative and book keeping work from home. I feel the lesser pressure of needing to provide all the financial security for the family will also encourage my future husband to be able to spend more time with his children. But I definitely have no problem with the husband being more into business and work than I am, and me being able to be with my children and make the home we all want.
Comment by Lauren on March 28 01:08

While in some ways I enjoy getting out and working each day, I also wish (sometimes whole heartedly!) that I didn't have to. I would love to be a stay at home wife / mother. The only reason I work is because we need the additional salary.

Sometimes I feel upset about the whole feminist movement, wondering why women couldn't just leave things the way they were. (I am sure this is bound to upset some people!) But I do understand that there are women out there who love working, and are very career orientated, unlike me. It's only right that they are given equal opportunities in the workplace.

I am not stupid, undereducated or lazy, but I just feel that I would be a happier person if I didn't feel pressured into having a career. Some people are just not cut out for the corporate world.

An ideal situation would be to find part time work in order that I could balance both home life and work life. That way I could at least keep my sanity!
Comment by Wannabe stay at home wife / mother on April 01 11:06

There is a class of housewife women who are highly educated, but put family ahead of career. In many other cultures women are put through professional education not to work, but to be mother and wife material. Their education is based on the fact that they want to and will be a mother and wife and will need to be able to "fit" into their husband's world and encourage their children's education. I think the idea of traditional housewife is misconstrued to mean under-educated, barefoot and without ambition. A traditional housewife will cook, clean and rear the children, but she will also manage the finances, her husband's schedule, volunteer in the community, serve on non-profit boards, represent her husband and family at varied events and keep the kids in line in school. Please don't miscount the importance of a housewife and her role in society. The biggest difference between a career wife and a housewife is that the housewife's career is her family.

There are also housewives who have careers and have ambition, but that ambition doesn't outweigh her first priority which is her family. Her career and the earnings are supplemental to the home and she works because she wants to, not because she needs to.

Stepping into the "traditional" housewife role is not taking a backwards step in feminism, stepping into a "stereotypical" housewife role is. Feminism is great for those who truly believe it helps them or their lives, but if the desire to be so equal puts the next generation behind then it is more of an impairment to societal growth than an advancement.
Comment by TDG on December 11 22:31

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