The Sex Spreadsheet Everyone’s Talking About

Because 'I've eaten too much' is a perfectly reasonable reason not to want sex, right?

A spreadsheet has gone viral. Not words you hear, ever, really. But a spreadhseet created by a sexually frustrated husband listing the reasons why his wife won’t fufill his conjugal needs has set the Internet alight.

The spreadsheet was compiled by an American fella and over a 30-day period lists the reasons why his lady life partner doesn’t want to get physical. She gives an array of excuses from ‘I’m watching a Friends re-run’ (totally understand, girl) to ‘I’m sweaty and gross’ (we’ve all been there).

This charming character then emailed said spreadsheet to his wife while she was en route to a business trip. Feeling hurt and probably quite appalled at her husband’s less then gentlemanly behaviour she posted it on reddit. Though, we’re not entirely sure what she hoped to achieve by doing that.

She wrote: ‘Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my ‘excuses,’ using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his ‘document’, we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 ‘attempts’ on his part.’

Now this spreadsheet is all anyone can talk about. But what do you think? Is the husband well within his rights to expect a certain amount of sex from his wife, or do you think marriage doesn’t guarantee sex and should really be based on so much more?

And, on a more basic level, we’re interested to know whether you think the spreadsheet is funny, can you relate to the wife’s side of the argument or is it just sad to see the breakdown of a relationship laid out on an excel spreadsheet?

Please let us know your thoughts in the comment box below. Or tweet us @marieclaireuk.

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