Everybody’s Kicking Off About The New Starbucks Red Cups

Equal Pay Day? Nah. Refugee Crisis? Not today. Starbucks Red Cups? Yep - that's what the world has decided to get angry about.

Joshua Feuerstein is a former pastor, who now describes himself as a ‘social media personality’.

And it’s been a busy few days for Joshua. What with having a personality on social media (and we can only imagine how much time that takes up), he’s launched an attack on the new Starbucks red cups – which feature a stripped back, ombre design, instead of the traditional snowflakes / reindeer / swarm of two dimensional doves.

Because Joshua believes the new Starbucks red cups represent bigger things. Bigger, more blasphemous things.

In fact, he reckons the company have deliberately removed any specific references to Christmas from their cups ‘because they hate Jesus’.

(Which is baffling, because clearly the mere existence of the Toffee Nut Latte could be used as evidence that somewhere out there, there is a God.)

It’s OK though. Because Feuerstein has come up with the ultimate revenge.

Yep, he’s encouraging Starbucks customers to say ‘Merry Christmas’ whenever a poor, unsuspecting barista asks them for their names. That way, the poor, unsuspecting barista will have to write ‘Merry Christmas’ on the cups anyway.

[Insert Disney-villain cackling noise here].

Of course, as a ‘social media personality’, Joshua is well aware that it’s impossible to change society without a hashtag.

So he’s come up with the mind-bendingly-brilliant #MerryChristmasStarbucks – calling for angry caffeine addicts around the world to Instagram pictures and tweet about their actually-rather-happy-sounding attack on the hot drinks company.

As it stands, Starbucks seems rather unpeturbed by the huge amounts of publicity that this entire series of events is giving them. Funny that.

But Joshua is still proud of his weekend’s works. ‘I think Starbucks has gotten the message,’ he says. ‘The Christian majority in this country has awakened and are demanding that our voice be heard.’

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