Secrets of successful marriage

yeah. i've never commented on these things before, but i'm just feeling the pain of being a stay at home mom because my husband just started working normal 8-5 hours today and i feel so alone and left out, so i'm reading how to make a marriage last online. we dated for about 3 years before we got married, but had kids right away. now have 2 little girls barely 2 years apart. i guess a load of rubbish is right. though funny how they can still make money on such surveys because people are desperate to keep their significant other around forever, or else.
Comment by anna on March 03 20:41

My husband and I have been married over 18 years. We met while working in the medical field and are still doing so. We work hard and play hard when we can get the time together. We talk every day that we can, (he was in Iraq for 13 months and we couldn't talk every day then)and never hang up the phone without saying "I Love You" even when we are having a difference of opinion. We have had our share of hard times but the good times are well worth it. One just has to remember the recipe is that with 2, the good times are twice as good and the bad times are only 1/2 the load. I am 10 years his senior but it hasn't stopped a thing. The love grows with each day.
Comment by Kat on March 03 21:07

I have been married for 18 years to a man 1year 6month older. We have two wonderful children one 15 and the other 11. we still love each other and work hard at looking at everything in a positive manner when it comes to our family. We try not to waste our time not loving each other because no one knows what tomorrow holds. We met through friends and has to admit we have alot in common.
Comment by Devi on March 03 21:16

I am still married 2 my 2nd husband going on 6yrs. now who is actually 20yrs. younger than i.My first husband was 2yrs. older than i..The younger one may not be as matured in the mind as the first, but let me tell you, i would not trade him 4 someone older than me..he takes good care of me better than the first..we still make love about 4 to 5 times a week alittle less than when we got married.We text eachother thru out the day..Whatever it is we are doing(work or school) we wish eachother the best of luck and cant wait 2 be together..We dont have alot of $$$$$ but we make sure we visit another city once every 2months and enjoy eachothers company..

Comment by Brown Sugar on March 03 21:50

Law of averages, ladies! Relax- This article does not say that to have a happy marriage there must me a set age difference or a set amount of vacations. . . it is just the "average" out of 3,000 happy couples. I am sure "happy couples" come in all shapes and sizes. To each their own.
Comment by Lane on March 03 22:01

NO SECRETS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE,.. PURE LUCK.

ITS LIKE QUITTING SMOKING.. YOU JUST WANT TO HAVE TO MAKE IT WORK...CAUSE ITS THAT HARD.. AND ITS ALWAYS A JOB...BUT LIKE QUITING SMOKING,,,ITS WORTH IT...QUIT ALMOST 24 YRS.AGO
Comment by RICKI on March 03 22:07

I think that trying to put a formula over love is ridiculous. There are surely exceptions to every rule. My husband and I were with each other for three married for seven, ten total. He is four years younger than me.. which works out well as woman outlast men by about four years. Going out is VERY important. Treating your spouse as a friend and a desired lover is important. COMMUNICATION very important and you should be able to discuss everything... even when you are attracted to others... VERY IMPORTANT. If you have children which we do you need to send loads of notes and texts and the like... and most importantly your relationship with your spouse needs to come before anything... even your children... children are very close second place. :)

Comment by Malia on March 03 22:13

MY HUSBAND AND I WERE MARRIED WHEN I WAS 16 AND HE WAS 17, WE HAVE 3 KIDS AGES 28,27 AND 15. 29 YEARS LATER WE REALIZE OUR MARRIAGE HAS SURVIVED EVERY OTHER MARRIED COUPLE WE KNOW, INCLUDING OUR PARENTS. THE SECRET, LOVE GOD MORE THAN ANYTHING- EVEN EACH OTHER, HE MAKES A WAY WHERE THERE SEEMS TO BE NO WAY!
Comment by TAMMY on March 03 22:52

I have been married for five years, and I was only with my husband for 1 year before that, but we knew right away that it was right. A few months after we got married, we got pregnant. We are as happy as can be. We never fight and we never any drama going on. Everything feels right when I'm with him. Also, I never second guessed my decision to marry him. I did not get cold feet or a feeling of "this is not right", I was just happy and thrilled to have such a great man in my life. Now here's the crazy part! I was only 19 when I got married, and 20 when we had our baby. I am 1 1/2 months older than my husband. Our marriage got 10 times stronger when we had our baby, and every challenge life has thrown at us we have gotten through together with flying colors. All this means is that we are right together. When you meet the right one, its easy. There is no question, and spending years together before marriage isn't going to change the way you feel about each other. You just know if it's right because there is no question or doubt in your mind. And that's the real secret to a happy marriage, just being with the right one at the right time in your life.
Comment by Allison Carpenter on March 03 23:04

I am recently engaged to a man I've known for 7yrs and have been dating for about a year now.(We plan to wed next year sometime.) We're both young- Let's just say neither of us have made it to 29 or 30 yet and have a few years to go untill then...and he's actually 7months younger than I. I personally believe that everyone has thier own path and own life, I am perfectly confident in us and our relationship, although I understand that people change greatly from thier teen years throughout thier 20's because that's really the beginning of starting your individuals lives...but me and my soulmate are looking forward to growing TOGETHER and making a stable life for us TOGETHER....just thought I'd make a comment.
Comment by Katherine on March 03 23:17

Married 35 years and pretty much agree. We talk every day several times on the phone thruout our work day. We always connect verbally after work to keep up with what is happening. You have to make time for sex, at our age it's once a week no matter what. Sometimes more, but once is mandatory on the weekends. We should have stuck to this when we were younger, you know when the kids are young it's hard, it would have helped our marriage back then. But, we made it and are actually happier and more in love than ever. Unless you stick out the hard times and work things out, you will never know what richness and depth your love can grow to. We look for weekend deals and go away when we can, but never spend much money doing it! It's like we are 20 again when we go away, fun, fun!
Comment by jean on March 03 23:43

Well...this makes sense but even so every relationship has problems. What should be taken out of this study is SPEND time with your husband or wife. Make them feel special and even though you are tired make ever effort to satisfy each other needs. A weekend apart is needed. Even if you spend the night in another room of the house without kids.
Comment by Lisa on March 03 23:43

Interesting study! Doesn't exactly fit my marriage, however. Have been married since 1975 (34 years this coming August). We met when I was 19, and he was going to be 20 in two months. Met when I rented a room in same rooming house in college town where we were both students. We lived together for three years, and then got married. Waited to have kids until I was almost 32. Took a year off and almost got divorced when we moved to California - which I found out later, at least during the eighties, was often the case for couples moving to CA during that time. Worked things out, moved back in together, then had two kids, moved back to the midwest. Sex three time a week is about right, probably say we love each other about 2-3 times a day ( he and I both work at home). Still very attracted to each other. Hate to say it, but probably would have a hard time wanting to be here, if he passes before me. Love IS grand - when you find it.
Comment by Sandy on March 04 00:28

We've been married for 10 years and together 8 months only before that. We have 2 children and we have opposite work schedules. We treasure every moment we have with each other. We tell each other we love one another on an almost daily basis. Our secret to our success is to keep the lines of communication open and not allow a disagreement to ever escalate. We talk about everything and it's a wonderful thing. My husband is my best friend...
Comment by Mizell on March 04 00:37

Been married 23 years - everyone of them happy
we have 3 kids and rarely ever fight
Our marriage is truly a union and we respect eachother - there is no fight to be the king of the house - decison making together / we play together
And I put her on a pedestal - she is a wonderful women who I will love until the day I die
Comment by PG on March 04 00:59

I am 44 and becoming involved with a wonderful,special to me beautiful woman who is 57. We are already communicating on levels that surprise both of us as we share very different life histories. We are trying to keep the objective realities in mind, for example, on the day I turn 57 she will be 70. We both recognise the age difference and know it may be an issue. But the points on communication and trust and working togethere are totally valid and we both share those values. Ask yourselves, Do I like this person? Don't just love each other be best friends too.
Comment by Keith on March 04 01:02

We remet at me just 22, and her closing in on 23. Then we re-remet, with her 23 and me closing in on 24. Got her to join us at a keg party (she verified it was a good place, by talking to the hostess!) Five weeks later, we eloped! Then waited 12 years for our first child (1976), second in 1950, and the last in 1985. Now married for pusing 45 years, not without hiccups, but all with the idea, we did agree, each of us picked the person we thought it would be fun to grow old with! And, by golly someday we will!!! If she reads this - yes my darlin', thanks for the great years past and to come!
PS: so much for the scientific method of marriage!
Comment by Ed on March 04 01:42

Let the statistics of others blow in the wind. I have been very happily married for 26 years, which by no means makes me an expert. However, I have found that a relationship that grows with the ups and downs of life, is the strongest bond any two people can ever have. Thank God my husband didn't adhear to the stats listed in your article, otherwise, we would have long divorced. Yes, we say I Love You every day. Sometimes, more than four sometimes less. I can honestly say that sex wasn't at the top of my priority list (therefore, since my loving husband understood where I was in my life process) it was not at the top of his. While raising our children (both of which are very successful. One is an attorney and the other is an aspiring mortician). My point is, whether in a marriage or any other sort of relationship, there will always be compromise. Remember, you married him/her so at some point or another, that was the spouse of your dreams. Keep the dream fire burning no matter what stage of life you are in.
Comment by Marie on March 04 01:47

Lol, I guess we did everything wrong. We met at 18, got married 6 months and a day later. Had our first child in 24 months, our second three years later. We'll have our 35th anniversary in June. Yes, we do say I love you at least once a day, if not more often. And we do talk a lot. But it's okay to have some quiet time together too.
Comment by Ann on March 04 03:37

Sex 3 times a week! I have been married for 14 years and I am lucky if I get to have sex with my wife 3 times a year! As far as kissing maybe once or twice a week if I push it.Wow who's getting the 3 times a week! sign me up!
Comment by Jeff on March 06 11:37