Almost three years after Heath Ledger’s tragic death, actress Michelle William’s has finally spoken out about her ex-fiance, and how she coped during the difficult year.
Appearing on US show Nightline Tuesday, the star spoke candidly about her former beau’s death, after an accidental overdose in 2008.
‘In a strange way, I miss that year, because all those possibilities that existed then are gone,’ Michelle said of the year Heath died.
‘It didn't seem unlikely to me that he could walk through a door or could appear behind a bush.
‘It was a year of very magical thinking, and in some ways I'm sad to be moving further and further away from it.’
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Explaining she began reading Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking to cope with her loss, she said she still has difficulty understanding the situation.
‘I’ve found meanings around the circumstance, but the actual event itself still doesn't...' she trails off.
‘I can't find a meaning for it. I can find meanings in things and people and relationships that have sprung up, and friendships that have strengthened. I can find a lot of meaning in that, but not in why.'
'I know I got kind of obsessed with that for awhile, the before and after. A lot of things died.
‘There's a line from a book that gave me so much comfort and it said, "When you've truly lost everything, then at least you can become rich in loss."'
Michelle met Heath on the set of heartbreaking flick, Brokeback Mountain, and they have a daughter, Matilda, five.