Myleene Klass admits relationship problems

By Ruth Doherty on Friday 2 May 2008

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Myleene Klass

She may appear to have it all (perfect job, figure, talent), but Myleene Klass has revealed that becoming a mum nearly destroyed her relationship.

The TV presenter, M&S model and classical musician, who first found fame on reality TV show popstars, gave birth to little Ava last year and, in a detailed interview with the Daily Mail, has told how the pressures of being a mum, and combining motherhood with her career, were so great they nearly ruined her relationship with security guard Graham Quinn. At one point, she reveals, she even thought about leaving him.

'I am tired, tired all the time,'' she says. 'Sometimes I feel like crying because I am so tired. People say I make it look easy, but I don't have any of the answers, I'm still trying to figure things out.

'My relationship with my fiancé Gray has been under huge pressure and I have never felt so lonely and isolated. I wonder how other working mums do it - how do they make it look so easy?

'Things haven't worked out the way I thought they would and just when I think I'm getting there, something else comes along. Just when I had got sterilising bottles down to a T, I had to start making purées. Christ - I can't even cook for myself! It's hard - harder than work.

'One of my worst nights was when I was hosting the red carpet at the Baftas. Gray was away with work and I had left Ava with a friend for the first time when I got a phone call to say my burglar alarm was going off.

'I couldn't leave, so I didn't know if someone was rifling through my house. I was worried about Ava and I had to put a big smile on my face as I interviewed Ricky Gervais and Daniel Craig. I thought: "What am I doing? How do people do this?"'

In the weeks after Ava was born, she admits she 'wanted to kill' Graham, and told friends she thought about leaving him.

But, she says, their relationship is now back on track. 'Our relationship has changed a lot, but now that it has been eight months things are getting better. We love each other and we are a family.

'[But] It is hard on a relationship. We will never be back to normal, it's a new place we have found. I just want him to appreciate what my day is like. I don't need the sympathy or adulation, I just want some understanding.

'When I get home, my day is not over. I need to prepare for the next day, I need to sterilise the bottles and I might even get around to making Gray some dinner. I know it is the same for every working mother - but it seems like nobody really talks about it, what a challenge it can be for a couple.'

With so much on her plate - she is a model for M&S, DJ for Classic FM, recording classical artist for EMI, TV presenter, film reporter for CNN, plus she has written a book about her pregnancy, is designing a range of childrenswear for Mothercare, is due to host next week's Classical Brits, and is also considering offers from both the BBC and ITV for a prime-time Saturday night show from mid June - many people might say she should cut back on work.

But she says she would consider herself 'lazy' if she did not work. 'I am the breadwinner for my family, and when I am doing a rubbish job like standing in a frozen field for hours to do a link, the thing that keeps me going is the idea that I am doing it for Ava.

'When it comes to work I may be my own worst enemy, but I have turned work down. I quit as a DJ on Capital as that was taking up five hours every Sunday, and I quit The One Show as it was too much to do every day. Having Ava means I have a clearer idea of where I need to go.'

She added: 'I know I have a privileged life, but I work hard for privileged life. I like to work and I like to feel I have achieved something. I'm not the prettiest, or the most talented and I've got wobbly bits and a lazy eye, but I make up for it with sheer hard work. I like to push myself and be the best I can.'

CLICK HERE TO SEE PHOTOS OF MYLEENE'S FANCY DRESS BIRTHDAY PARTY

More Myleene Klass

Friday 2 May 2008

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I understand exactly what she is saying as i feel on a treadmill always clearing up after my children and worrying about this & that but why if she is working hard doesn't she just let a nanny look after Ava and that helps so much. Just spending as much weekend time and a bit more so that you don't miss out on her growing up is all you can expect. Women try to do too much and let the father help out more as it is his child too. We don't have to feel guilty about not being all things to all men 24/7. Men need to be equal on the childcare and the housework to. My partner helps out with dinner most nights and i appreciate him for it. My day finishes at 5.30 so from then on i expect an equal share of the jobs around the house and helping with the children. Don't feel guilty Myleen your doing a good job. Make sure he's doing his part too.
Comment by Paula on May 02 11:22

why do celebs make a big fuss and have nervous breakdowns over what common people consider normal and manage to go through easily??!? maybe it's just an attitude problem? why is it so strenous to change diapers and make baby food??! i thought every minute of being a mother is enjoyable - parenting adds a new dimension to personality
Comment by jelena on May 02 12:44

Jelena: I don't believe she's making a big fuss. She actually says she's not looking for sympathy or adulation - it seems she simply wants to vent. From some of the things she's said I'm also slightly concerned about post-natal depression creeping in.

I, too, find motherhood and juggling a full life a struggle. My 'babies' are 13 and 10 now but I remember all too well the dispair I would feel as lots of little jobs piled up whilst I fretted about not being 'perfect'. When a woman is feeling this way, it's all too common for their male partners to be oblivious or even make things worse with 'what about meeeeee?' demands - that a fellow mother coments it's an attitude problem is shocking. In my experience (and with a wide circle of friends agreeing their experiences were similar) motherhood and the strains it places on your life and relationships is NOT something 'common' people manage to go through easily.

We all try do the best we can. Motherhood isn't a game of one-up(wo)manship, so bravo for those who find it a breeze (maybe you need challenges in other areas of your life...?) but there's no need to belittle those who are battling each day through a haze of exhaustion.

Comment by Amanda on May 02 14:36

Why doesn't she just say this stuff in private to friends? We all need to vent sometimes and I know how hard it is being a mother - she actually has yet to find out! Wait until she has three! Mine are 16, 13 and 10 and are seriously wonderful kids who are just how any mother would hope - not perfect but pretty close. And it's STILL hard! Plus I have to work hard too - but for a "get by" life! Does she think that people without her level of income aren't rich because they don't work hard enough? I like Myleene well enough but this makes her look like a whining rich girl. Enough.
Comment by Linda on May 03 08:26

I don't understand why Myleene is making such a fuss!!! We mums have all been there and without the vast amount of money she has to cushion her life and make it secure. She doesn't need to do so many jobs, spare a thought for struggling "celebrities" who are just as talented, but don't get recognition. You are doing all the jobs because you want to be adored - you think the public can't do without you - well let me tell you, the public can get sick of you watching you in everything. I had 2 babies 10 years apart, and I was on my own with just my husband and I went to work evenings whilst he bonded with them - we had no money but we were comfortable - we had no phone cos we couldn't afford it - so anything that happened we had to run down the road to the public kiosk to ring up. Young mothers don't know they're born these days, think of that poor Austrian woman in a dungeon - giving birth all on her own and no midwife or doctor in sight!!! How did she cope??? How didn't she go mad?? Come on Myleene, get yourself together please!!!
Comment by Cate on May 03 18:50

It makes such a pleasant change for a 'celeb' to fess up to the fact that family life isn't all OK! photo shoots and rose-tinted daily life - it's hard work, and becoming a new mother is one of the most challenging things a woman can face. AS for those who say that motherhood is enjoyable 'every minute' - sorry, but it's not.

Motherhood is by far the best thing that ever happened to me - but it's also one of the hardest.
I have a 6 month old son, who I adore, a great husband, and a loving and supportive family. But it's not brilliant all the time. The sleepless nights (6 months of them...), the lack of freedom, juggling work, trying to make sure your little one has the best possible start, breastfeeding, all the research that needs to be done about feeding, nutrition, vaccinations, health, development, childcare... and then trying to keep on top of washing, cleaning and arranging family life - it's not just a full-time job. It's a 24-hour job and it's knackering.

Well done to Myleen for breaking the silence on the truth about motherood. And, as mothers, we should support her. Yes, she might have more cash than the average working mum but she's not loaded and she works extremely hard to provide for her daughter. She should be applauded.

Stop sniping, ladies, and start supporting each other. It's not a competition...
Comment by Susie on May 04 09:54

Oh Jelena! Please don't be so complacent - not everyone sails through motherhood and the changes it brings, and I think most women would agree motherhood has negatives as well as positives. Some of the cleverest, most able, talented people can be fazed by simple things, like sterilising bottles, and juggling as many things as Myleene does must be hard - particularly if her fiancee isn't especially supportive.

I admire Myleene for being so honest and HUMAN, personally. Damn sure I couldn't do half of what she does, or be a mum!

PS : Diapers? Are you American? NAPPIES!!
Comment by Cate on May 04 20:39

Myleene's right- no one talks about how hard it is..

Maybe if more women did, we wouldn't feel so isolated and lonely and pressured..

I empathize.
Comment by Haya Z on May 07 23:01

I think it's fantastic that Myleene was up front about finding it hard. Probably a million women read that article and felt a bit less guilty! I love being a mum but crikey that first few months were tough especially if you have post natal depression or you are a single mum or your partner is working away. What is WRONG with telling it how it is for you?! If people didn't find it hard then that's wonderful for them but they are the lucky few! Of course there is always someone worse off, we all know that but quite frankly when you are feeling really low and inadequate it is much more helpful to be honest about how you feel and to have people say "yes, i felt that too". Being told you are pathetic that you are whining is no help at all!
Comment by Sophia on May 11 23:28

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