Laura Simpson served as the Oscar nominee's date for the star-studded event - and she dished all the details in a tell-all blog
From the photographers to the other slightly-less-famous attendees, everyone wanted a piece of last year’s Best Actress winner.
Her date, however, was not awarded the same level of attention.
No, we’re not talking about her boyfriend, British actor Nicholas Hoult. We’re talking about her other date, mere mortal Laura Simpson.
In a hilarious blog post on MySpace, Laura writes about what it’s like to attend the Academy Awards as a non-celebrity – and in turn, gives an awesome behind-the-scenes account of what it’s like to be Jennifer Lawrence, aka the most popular girl at the Oscars.
Laura, who met J.Law seven years ago at a party, describes arriving at the event with her famous friend.
‘We finally arrive at the red carpet and as we exit the car, my date eats sh*t and uses my freshly done Lauren Conrad updo to break her fall,’ she says, recapping Jen’s second Oscars tumble. ‘The crowd goes wild. There are flashbulbs and people circling yet no one asks if I need any help because unless you are famous at the Oscars, you are completely invisible.’
‘I have never experienced anything like it. The only time anyone talks to you is if you are in the way of his or her photo. Oh and photographers on the carpet yell “YOU IN THE HUGE DRESS, GET OUT OF THE F***ING SHOT.”‘
Laura goes on to explain that she had a camera crane blocking her view of the stage, so she left the ceremony halfway through to go slam drinks at the bar with Jennifer’s dad.
‘Brad Pitt smells amazing, like nothing I’ve ever smelled,’ she writes. ‘Eventually we ask what cologne he’s wearing and he tells us, “I don’t wear cologne, it’s just my musk I guess.” I have to choose not to believe him because it would just be unfair to mankind.’
And while her focus was clearly on Brad, his lovely fiancee did not go unnoticed. ‘Angelina is gorgeous and elegant and they are like The Sun and The Moon,’ Laura says.
She also explains why she didn’t actually get to log much quality time with her pal during the knit – and we finally start to understand how being that famous could get a bit annoying.
‘We can’t enjoy ourselves because everyone, whether they know my date or not, has some weird story they just NEED to tell her as they stand in front of me pushing me out of the circle,’ she says.
Luckily, Laura found someone else to entertain her while J.Law was otherwise engaged.
‘I get tired of this and decide to follow Bill Murray around the party,’ she says. ‘At one point he looks in my direction and winks at me while dancing to “If You Want My Body and You Think I’m Sexy” by Rod Stewart – a moment, I now realize, my whole life had been leading up to.’
Sounds like a successful night to us!