Some of us don't have time to watch it *every* Monday night, alright?
Spoilers? This article couldn’t contain Game of Thrones spoilers even if it wanted to as this writer has a couple of episodes to catch up on. Yes, yes. Shame, shame, shame…
Here’s a thought: You can be a Game of Thrones fan and not watch the episode on the first given day it’s possible to do so. (Mad woman over here klaxon, amirite?)
If, like me, Monday is your busiest day, you usually get in from work late, and you just don’t want to watch Thrones in anything but pure unadulterated (and uninterrupted-non-sleepy) bliss, you might just chose to save the episode for another evening.
What then ensues in the next few days in the office is a slew of jokey-but-totally-not ‘I haven’t SEEN it yet’ exchanges with your colleagues singing ‘tralalalalalala’ with your fingers in your ears, and a complete hatred for the entire World Wide Web.
Here’s all the things you’ll only know if you watch Game of Thrones on any day that is not immediately following its airing on Sky Atlantic, Mondays at 9pm…
(From someone who genuinely hasn’t watched the latest episode yet. Promise.)
1. Article headlines with *no spoilers* nearly always contain spoilers
Source: HBO via replygif.net
News sites, take note: Unless your Game of Thrones article headline is simply ‘This article is about last night’s Game of Thrones where absolutely nothing happened’ it will nearly always be spoiling something or other.
‘THIS is why Game of Thrones fans will be missing Hodor this morning‘… Oh! Was Hodor, key protagonist Hodor, absent from an episode? Was main character Hodor’s absence from an episode enough to write an article about? Of course it’s not: Hodor is dead, isn’t he?
‘Khaleesi was on FIRE in last night’s Game of Thrones’ *nudge nudge* *wink wink*
My reaction: OH PISS OFF.
‘We KNEW it!’ *accompanying image showing Jon Snow with eyes wide open*
My reaction: I will find you and kill you.
2. The last ten minutes of the episode is the the only part worth watching
Source HBO via bustle.com
Something to take from endless Tuesdays of unsuccessfully trying to navigate the minefield of GOT spoilers, is this: There’s no point in watching until (quote annoying Karen from Accounts with the loudest whisper ever) the ‘bit at the end’. That’s where all the good stuff happens, apparently.
Put a sock in it, Karen.
3. Twitter is your own personal hell for at least 24 hours (but IRL, like 4 days)
Source: HBO via esquire.com
Sometimes, among the humdrum of life you might momentarily forget that you’re trying to avoid Thrones spoilers all day. Sometimes, commuting folk might even innocently look to their Twitter app for some light relief...
You brought this on yourself: Delete Twitter.
4. People are terrible at whispering when they’re excited
Source: HBO via awesomegifs.com
It’s a fact: it’s impossible to whisper when you are excited about something. Try saying ‘there’s a job where you can professionally hug pandas for £32,000 a year‘ in hushed tones. You just can’t. And the same applies for every person hastily discussing Thrones by the kettle come Tuesday morning.
5. Finding someone else who hasn’t seen the episode either feels like home
Source: HBO via hellogiggles.com
If you’ve managed to find one of these people, hold on to them and never let them go. Make them the only person you talk to all day. Creepily stare at them across the room. Whatever. It. Takes. K?
6. When you finally watch the episode, you feel a profound sense of emptiness
Source: HBO via theotheralice.tumblr.com
Bouncing into the office on Thursday morning after you’ve finally watched the episode, brimming with your take on the key scenes and dying to share your theories on what will happen next and how you reckon this definitely ties in to that one random scene with villager no. 7 in series 1 episode 5, is often met with disinterest and pitying looks.
7. Everyone is over it by Thursday
Thursdays can be a very sad and very lonely.