Is it okay to ask your wedding guests for cash instead of a gift?

There's been quite a debate over the topic this week

We all have different ideas when it comes to weddings. Some of us dream of a glamorous affair in a fairytale castle, others want a traditional church ceremony.

But some aspects of people’s nuptials can end up causing controversy, with one in particular stirring a debate on Mumsnet this week.

One of the site’s users vented about being asked for cash rather than a traditional gift, writing in a thread: ‘We have been invited to a wedding. Evening invite only. The invitation included a tacky poem asking for cash gifts. (Guests invited to the whole day didn’t get a begging letter poem hmm).

‘The bottom line is, we can’t really afford to give cash. Generally I’d put my feelings about this type of request aside and give what was asked for but I think the very small amount we can afford to give will look mean.

‘My alternatives are to give a cheap but nice gift, or donate to the charity that I know is close to the family’s heart. I don’t want to give a wrapped present if we will be the only ones who do so, not sure how they will feel about a donation to charity. What would you do?’

Wedding

The post garnered mixed responses. Some sympathised with the guest, with one reply reading: ‘The fact that they “requested cash” is irrelevant. They don’t get to do that, unless you ask what they want; it’s a gift, so it’s at the giver’s discretion.’

Another wrote: ‘Evening invite = nice card only, or reasonably decent bottle of wine if I’m feeling generous. How can people demand cash from guests who they don’t consider important enough to attend the main event? Bloody cheek.’

But others didn’t think the request was a big deal. One suggested a small token should be enough, saying: ‘Can you afford £20? That’s what we got off a few of our evening guests and I wasn’t offended at all. A couple of them only gave a card.’

What are your thoughts? Let us know @marieclaireuk.

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