8 things that (invariably do) happen on a group holiday with friends

We've all been there

1. Matching t-shirts
Getting ‘Kinky Katie’ on the back of your t-shirt seemed really funny when you ordered it, but when your mum dropped you off at the airport and you had to stand in a queue full of small children you weren’t laughing any more. You all wore the offensive t-shirts on the flight – and promptly ditched them for the rest of the holiday. It later becomes a pyjama top for when you’ve fake tanned.

2. All the photos, ever
Meeting at the airport: photo! Getting your 7AM prosecco on: photo! Getting on the plane: photo! Getting to passport control; no photo (totes, inappropes!) By the time you fly home there’ll be no storage left on your phone. Each picture will be followed by a chorus of ‘was it nice? Let me see. Oh God, do NOT put that on Facebook’. Unless everyone in the picture looks like a Victoria’s Secret model there’ll be a debate about putting it online, finally solved when someone agrees to crop someone else out.

 

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3. The sharing of the clothes

Why wear the clothes that you agonised over packing before you left, when you could wear everything everyone else brought with them instead? By the fifth day the playsuit that everyone’s been wearing smells like sweat, fags and a perfume shop, but you waited your turn dutifully so you’re wearing it anyway.

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4. You might cry
Maybe it’s because you love your BFF so much, maybe it’s that perceived slight over the last slice of pizza at the restaurant or maybe it’s because someone ate the last Percy Pig? But let’s face it, it’s 3 in the morning and it’ll all be forgotten tomorrow. Thankfully.

5. Some will throw up
‘I think it was the prawns’ your friend wails as you hold her hair back and try to stop her falling off the balcony. The prawns or the eight Jagerbombs. Who could say which? If she gets sick on your shoes you’re officially allowed to tag someone else in to look after her.

6. Someone will have a holiday romance
Being dragged to a bar to meet up with him or her, again? Suck it up, could be you next time.

7. Bitching
Just remember, bitching is actually good for you. Whether it’s borrowing make up, bathroom mess or some comments made in vino veritas, none of it will matter by the time you get home. But it probably will lead to…

8. …A row
You haven’t known true friendship until you’ve stormed off down the strip at 3AM, furious about something that you may or may not recall the finer details of the following day. The big group row is a stalwart of the group holiday and usually happens about three days in. If you’re lucky it’ll blow over that night whilst you’re all still a bit merry, otherwise you get to spend the next day know that you’re angry with each other but not quite knowing why.

So by the time your plane touches down on the tarmac you’ll be hungover, sleep deprived and likely sunburned.

You’ll probably also already be getting excited about next summer, when you can do it all over again.

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