7 Ways To REALLY Break Up With Your Ex

Having trouble letting go? Just follow our seven easy steps and you'll be rid of him in no time

1. Don’t call, just delete.

Simply re-naming him ‘DO NOT CALL’ in your iPhone will not suffice. We all know this. A clean break requires a complete digital wipeout. What if you know his number off by heart? Well, then hypnosis may be required…

2. Make EVERYONE you know unfriend him on Facebook.

Of course you’ve deleted him off yours. But all it takes is one too many large glasses of Malbec and suddenly you’re frantically trying to remember your sister’s Facebook login to facilitate some desperate late night ex-stalking. Don’t let it happen. Remove all temptation by getting friends/family/colleagues/EVERYONE to un-friend him.

3. Download Kill Switch.

The 21st century equivalent of lighting up a bonfire and throwing in your extensive collection of couple’s polaroids/love letters, Kill Switch deletes anything on your Facebook that your ex is tagged in (photos, posts, etc.) and donates part of the proceeds to the American Heart Association. Cleansing and charitable? It’s a win win.

4. Get thrifty with his leftovers.

Too sentimental to actually bin that beautiful canvas he painstakingly crafted for you? Pay a visit to Never Liked It Anyway. A marketplace for the brokenhearted, the site allows you to sell your ex’s gifts and buy the keepsakes of other relationships. Find or pawn off rings, jewellery, wedding dresses and other impressive gifts on the cheap, while simultaneously shedding your own painful memories.

5. Clean your Insta-feed

Yes, that romantic couple’s sun-lounger selfie from St Tropez AND that adorable picture of him snoozing with Milo on his lap. Delete them all (even the ones you look smokin’ hot in). If all of your recent photos are with/of your ex, how are potential new suitors meant to know you’re back on the market? It’s for the best.

6. Invest in some new pyjamas

Still curling up in that faded grey Paco Rabanne-doused XL hoodie in bed every night? Stop it. It’s time to hit the charity shop and buy yourself a slinky pyjama set fit for a singleton. You’ll thank us in the end.

7. Stop wearing that fierce frock that used to drive him wild. 

We know it doesn’t seem fair to have to forgo your wardrobe but trust us on this one. If he catches you wearing it and he’s not over you, it could be the green light you didn’t mean to send.

And, if you’re still not rid of him after all that then maybe you shouldn’t have broken up in the first place. Just sayin’.

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