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The Business of Wedded Bliss

By Emma Sibbles and Jane White on Thursday 3 January 2008

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Unmarried couples to get equal rights

Forget the red roses and spooning under the moon in June - you're much more likely to have a happy life together if you approach it in a businesslike manner

You may think pre-nups are the antithesis of romance but, according to husband-and-wife marriage gurus Penny Raby and Mike Gordon, they offer a far better basis for a relationship than many romantic gestures.

Raby and Gordon's backgrounds are in law and accounting respectively, and their service, Marriage Makeover, offers a businesslike alternative to traditional couple-counselling, looking at relationships in the same way as a divorce lawyer would.

Based on an analysis of their clients' lifestyles, and focusing also on more practical elements, such as the couple's financial situation, Raby and Gordon help them to rebuild the paths of communication.

Their reasoning is that most misunderstandings can be straightened out by bypassing emotion and getting down to facts and practicalities, thus making a split less likely.

'Most of our clients have a business background and prefer to look at their union in terms they understand,' Raby explains. 'Marriage is a much bigger venture than most businesses. No one would expect a business to function if no attention was paid to it, and a marriage is no different.'

Each one of their clients works on a flexible five-year plan, focusing on where they hope to be within that time, and what they would like to achieve, both alone and together. The service costs £210 each per hour, with most sessions lasting two hours.

Top three tips for a successful marriage

1. Keep talking, however difficult it is.

2. Even if it's for just an hour a week, make sure you relax together and, most importantly, have fun.

3. Never allow a relationship with a third party (whether it's with family, friends or business partners) to become more important than your core relationship.

Words by Emma Sibbles and Jane White, Thursday 3 January 2008

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I was married for 32 years but my husband never as much as shared any of his thoughts with me or came on holiday with me!!! I was always going on hols with either one of my girls - there are 10 years between them - and no cajoling would have him get on a plane - or on a coach!!!And in the end - he started spending so much time with the mother of my younger girl's boyfriend - that even when my daughter split with him - he wanted to carry on meeting the boy's couple - to the extent that her husband and I were completely frozen out and they went off together!!! I knew it was happening but couldn't stop him - we divorced 6 years ago - now for the first time I have money in the bank (divorce settlement - half the marital home capital)- I have a wonderful man - a widower with his own home - we holiday together - whilst my ex and his floozy struggle with a mortgage, he has to work still (considering he took early retirement from Br Aero 6 months before he left me cos he didn't want to work anymore!!)- floozy has never worked so she doesn't get an income and at 9 years younger than him will never get a pension of her own - whilst I will get a full state pension in September cos I always worked - and I also took early retirement 16 months ago as I didn't need to work anymore - I had enough credits!!!! So, really, he did me a favour - I was a year older than my husband so I would have kept us quite comfortably till he got to 65 as his Br Aero money paid up our mortgage on our marital home - but that's men for you!!! They think the grass is greener on the other side - but in essence - he did me a great favour cos he also had a medical condition that she didn't find out about till they got together - but by then - it was too late - she'd already left her husband of 23 years and had nowhere else to turn for support!!!! Just desserts
Comment by Cate on January 31 17:12