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Q

My ex-boyfriend left me last year, saying he didn't fancy me anymore. I'm now seeing someone else, but I put off sex as I don't want him to see my body. How can I shake off my ex's comments?
Marie Claire reader

A

We only get one shot at life so don't allow self-consciousness to sabotage your chance of happiness. But you're not alone: an AOL poll of 45,000 women revealed that six in ten 'cannot stand the way they look' and he majority would opt for plastic surgery if it were free. There are lots of constructive ways to improve your confidence, though.

The most important step is to change your mindset. Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) differs from other 'talk therapies' in that it's about changing how you think, not raking over the past. Exercise is a must as it boosts blood flow which will then increase your libido and trigger the release of endorphins. An exercise plan is only sustainable if you choose an activity that suits your mental state and your schedule. If you are someone who suffers from stress, walking or jogging will give you space to think. Kickboxing alleviates tension, yoga quietens the mind and salsa and capoeira are great social activities. Exercise for 30 minutes a day, five days a week for one month and you'll see the difference in your shape, stamina and, crucially, your self-esteem. Good luck.

More about the expert...

Suzi Godson

Author of The Sex Book, Suzi also acts as the sex and relationship expert at The Times.