If the thought of fasting for a week, surviving only on tree sap doesn't appeal to you, then you are not alone. I was positively repelled by the idea, until a friend of mine emerged from two weeks on the Lemon Detox, bouncing off the walls and positively glowing. I stubbed out my Marlboro Light, poured the Pinot Grigio down the sink and went for a nutritional consultation.
HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT FAST
Amanda Griggs, a partner at Balance the Clinic, talked me through my lifestyle, checked my health and analysed my body type. Just from sticking out my tongue she deduced that I have a 'mucusy' system (meaning a weak lymphatic system) and as a result, prone to cellulite. Great. Any doubt went out of the window: it was time for the detox. I decided to follow in the footsteps of Beyonce, Madonna and, er, Mick Jagger.
On Amanda's recommendation, I had colonic hydrotherapy to prepare my body for the Lemon Detox. This involved pumping water up my bottom through a tube and flushing everything out. It was surprisingly painless and incredibly satisfying (there's even a mirror so you can watch all the bad stuff coming out!)
Armed with a tin of Madal Bal, the coveted palm and maple syrup mixture, a tonne of lemons, cayenne pepper and fresh ginger, I prepared for battle. While some choose to go without food for the whole week, I decided to compromise and eat homemade vegetable soup (organic is a must) for the first four days and nothing for the last three days.
It is important to prepare your body for the detox, it is no good eating junk food, partying the night before and then waking up to go cold turkey. I made sure I had a relatively relaxed week planned, and for a week before D-day I cut out red meat and injected more pulses and vegetables into my diet.
In addition to drinking the syrup mixture, it is essential to drink plenty of water – at least two litres a day. Amanda gave me some hydration drops to add to my water, which helps the body to properly absorb the water and minerals.
Contrary to popular belief, the detox did not make me weak, dizzy or grumpy. Hunger pains were not an issue either, after the first two days your stomach shrinks and you find that you are not as hungry as usual. For the first time in ages I slept like a baby and woke up feeling fresh and perky – 'perky' is not a word usually used when describing me in the mornings.
I felt particularly smug swanning into the pub clasping my Evian bottle and being greeted with praise and envy at my healthy demeanour. What's more, I lost weight. Though that wasn't the reason for the diet, but more my hedonistic summer of festival indulgence – losing a few pounds was definitely an added bonus.
To find out more about the Lemon Detox go to www.lemondetox.com
A tin of Madal Bal Natural Tree Syrup costs £39.99. For stockist details or to order call 0845 370 1012
Balance the Clinic has a number of Lemon Detox programmes which incorporate complementary treatments such as massage, reflexology and acupuncture. Balance the Clinic 250 Kings Road Chelsea SW3 5UE 020 7565 0333 firstname.lastname@example.org