Mostly about monkeys
Ah, Twilight. The literary Vampire franchise written by Stephenie Meyer which spawned five feature films (a series which has grossed over $3.3 billion worldwide), made us aware of the hilarity of Anna Kendrick and gave birth to a generation of Twihards (A blend of the words ‘Twilight‘ and ‘die-hard’). Catchy.
However, aside from the obvious success of the films – may we direct you to the aforementioned $3.3 billion – it also had some pretty cheesy lines that we can barely type, let alone say out loud. Turns out, we’re not alone in this thinking. The writer of the Twilight screenplay, Melissa Rosenberg, is onboard.
Rosenberg has spoken out about some of these ‘key’ lines and it turns out, she didn’t even want them featured in the first place.
Speaking to Us Weekly she said, ‘In the first movie, there’s something about, “Be my spider monkey”. I’m like, “Spider monkey? What the hell is spider monkey?”’
Don’t pretend aren’t familiar with this scene. You know, the one where Edward climbs up a tree with Bella on his back and he says (verbatim), ‘You better hold on tight, spider monkey!’
On a side note, we think, ‘You better hold on tight, you human backpack!’, would have worked slightly better.
However her grievances with the cringey choice of lines, doesn’t stop there. ‘I think there was another thing either in [film] 1 or 2, again, “He’s my monkey man.” Someone has an obsession with monkeys, and I don’t know what it is. But it ain’t me who has an obsession with monkeys! But little things like that irk you.’
Melissa carried on to explain that those particular lines weren’t in her final scripts, meaning that some fool added them in without her knowing. A someone who obviously has a thing for primates.