Still haven’t seen Game Of Thrones? Want to tell the people dropping their jaws to just bore off?
This little Game of Thrones survival to-do list should see you through…
1. Refer to anywhere north of Manchester as ‘The Wall’.
2. Lament that Kate and Wills wasted a good opportunity when they failed to call their child Prince Joffrey.
3. If someone mentions ‘wedding’, fling your hand to your brow, quiver your lip and start rocking in slow motion.
4. Declare your allegiance to team Lannister with the justification they’d probably be more fun on a night out. At least Tyrion would get a round in.
5. If you’re asked what pet you’d get, say you’re holding out for a dragon.
6. Instead of saying you’re giving dating a break, announce you’re joining The Night’s Watch for a short sojourn.
7. Say: ‘Khaleesi really is a bastion of feminism for our time.’
8. Elevate your social standing by calling your family the ‘House of…’
9. Profess it’s a shame about Robb Stark, but that Jon Snow is pretty fit.
10. Ask, ‘Is Sansa Stark really that tormented or is she just a whinger?’