5 Unexpected Things We’ve Learned From Amy Poehler’s Amazing New Book

Yep, Amy Poehler's written a book. And it's just as brilliant and hilarious and adorable as the woman herself.

Here’s what we learnt from Yes Please…

1. Treat your career like a bad boyfriend
‘It likes it when you don’t depend on it. It will reward you every time you don’t act needy. It will chase you if you act like other things (passion, friendship, family, longevity) are more important to you. If your career is a bad boyfriend, it is healthy to remember you can always leave and go sleep with somebody else.’

2. It’s ok to actually hate your phone
‘It is a battery-charged rectangle of disappointment and possibility. It is a technological pacifier. I keep it beside me to make me feel less alone, unless I feel like making myself lonely. It can make me feel connected and unloved, ugly and important, sad and vindicated.’

3. How to get better at dirty talk
‘Act like a bossy lady ordering at a deli. ‘I want the ham on rye and make sure you toast it!’ If your guy is bad at dirty talk tell him to shut up. He might like that. If you don’t like dirty talk, don’t worry about it. It’s pretty hot if done well but it may not be up your alley. Also, try not to stick things up your alley.’

4. Always tip the waitress
‘Waitressing takes a certain gusto. You need a good memory and an ability to connect with people fast. You have to learn how to treat the kitchen as well as you treat the customers. You have to figure out which crazy people to listen to and which crazy people to ignore. I loved waiting tables because when you cashed out at the end of the night your job was truly over… I didn’t take my job home with me, except for the occasional nightmare where I would wake up in a cold sweat and remember I never brought table 14 their diet coke.’

5. Embrace middle age
‘I think middle age begins when you start looking forward to eating dinner before six thirty, or when you call the cops when your next door neighbour has a party. I know my body feels older. I recently hurt myself on a treadmill and it wasn’t even on. I was adjusting my speed and stepped wrong and twisted my ankle. I felt a moment of frustration filled with immediate relief. I didn’t have to actually work out, but I still got credit for trying. It was a gym snow day.’

Yes Please by Amy Poehler is out now (Picador, £16.99).

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