Acne

Posted by Lucy Robinson at 04:14 on 2 Aug 2010

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So tomorrow I am meeting the hottest man in Buenos Aires.

There are a few problems with this arrangement.

1. I have flu. I feel like someone has thumped me in the face with a mallet.

2. Resultantly I have no conversational skills whatsoever. My handbag probably has more chat than I do.

3.  There is a pox covering me. Most people would call it acne; I am calling it a rare tropical malady.* Who the hell still has acne aged 30 ffs? Why is this happening to me? THERE IS A MASSIVE SPOT ON MY CHEST! Did you hear me? It's HUGE! It's a boil! And it's not even down near the rack; ie easy to cover up, it's near my neck, bang in the centre; uncoverable unless I go and purchase a poloneck jumper. I will not be buying a poloneck jumper; I'm too ill and the clothes here are horrible. Further spots have spread out on my forehead, cheeks, chin and nose. There are actual WHITEHEADS present. I want to stick my face in a bowl of kitchen disinfectant but am too weak to get up and do so.

4. I ate most of a garlic bulb earlier. (fyi, I did indeed mean 'bulb' not 'clove.' IE more garlic than the average Frenchman consumes in a year.) I did it to assist my recovery. Alas, recovery remains elusive and I now smell like a bad curry.

You would be forgiven for suggesting that I arrange to meet this man another time. Unfortunately this course of action is impossible because not only is he leaving town for three weeks the following day (I was hoping to make such a good impression that he pined after me during that time) but also HIS boss has decided to come along for the last part of our informal chat as I start working for them on Thursday. I have to turn up tomorrow.

I slightly want to cry.



*Current temperature in Buenos Aires: 6 degrees.

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