Blanket dating: Date one

Posted by Katy Regan at 12:50 on 2 Jul 2010

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So (deep breath, swig of neat vodka - it's my nerves, they are permanently frayed) I feel enough time has elapsed since BLANKET DATING: WAVE ONE to fill you in on how the first date went...

I felt I needed a rest before I could do this. By that, I mean a little shut off time. Time to sit in my pyjamas and eat custard creams, time to be with Fergus who levels me like nobody else,  time to go to bed at 9pm and read "Five Ways with a Jumpsuit" in a glossy magazine. ANYTHING but give any more thought to my love-life.

As anyone who's been single for any length of time will tell you (especially those in their thirties), dating can be a traumatic old game: All mine were blind (as in, I hadn't met them before, not as in unable to see. That would have been bad luck even by my standards), and I did one a week, for three consecutive weeks, which for a single mum who can only realistically go out twice a week, is a big commitment. All that to-ing and fro-ing to London and spending money I don't have and drinking, (because clearly, one has to do that on a date) ...God, I'm knackered! And, as you can see, just about the most optimistic and positive dater in the history of dating! Bleerugh.

Aaaannyway (deep breath, another swig of vodka.) as I said, after sending out the terribly bold email, I only had to wait twenty-four hours for the replies to just flood in. Except they didn't so much flood in, as drip in reluctantly and with a slight frisson of fear that there was very possibly a mad woman on the loose.

All four (yes, there were only four) started with things like:

"I am sure this is just spam", or were forwarded from friends with lines like "this could be a joke, mate, but what have you got to lose!"

One said:  "I have Googled this chick and she seems to be doing quite well for herself."

I was nothing short of delighted at that one.

However, one in particular caught my eye: Dear Miss Bold it read, which was a nice touch, and made me feel kind of sexy and a bit naughty, a feat indeed since I was largely conducting Operation Blanket Dating in a pair of Primark pyjamas and socks with ice-creams on.  (pics of, not ACTUAL ice-creams)

On reading that I was beginning Operation Blanket Dating, one good friend kindly pointed out: "Regan, shouldn't you be dating men rather than bed-linen?". You see, with friends as witty as that, what man has a chance?!  (Stop it, stop it, stop it...)  

But Mr Dear Miss Bold sounded sweet. His email read:

We haven't met before, but I have received a copy of your email from my friend and very amused I was too!! It wasn't just the odd words that caught my attention, such as 'back in the saddle' or 'great rack', but things like 'SHSOH' and of course 'your own teeth'...

I read it open-mouthed:  ‘back in the saddle' and ‘great rack' JESUS CHRIST! Had I really written that? Clearly I was under the influence when I sent it. Under the influence of my friend who helped me write it!! (only kidding, S, I am forever indebted as if I had have written it, it would have sounded like a suicide note.)  

Also, it clearly didn't put everyone off because after a couple of email exchanges, ‘Dear Miss Bold' became my first date. Turned out, he was a friend of a friend whose recommendations I knew would at least be nice and relatively normal if nothing else. He was a safe first date.

We met in a little Scandinavian style gastro pub in Islington (I always find I have to say where to meet - men seem scared of suggesting these things...??! But I think he rather liked my choice)

Still, I was half an hour late due to transport issues and had already cancelled him once due to a hangover brought on by the bank holiday weekend where I was left to my own devices with Matt Black and a pub (say no more).  I couldn't inflict that sort of a hangover on anyone, let alone a person I hadn't met before, that just wouldn't be fair. I was the sort of hungover that robs you of the power of speech, where you are still a tinsy bit drunk meaning your inhibitions are down and you may touch someone inappropriately or tell them about your teenage crush on Tom Selleck from Three Men and a Baby. Or Daley Thompson, or um, Bobby Ball (It was the black moustache thing, ok?! I couldn't help it!  It was a my-dad-has-one association thing.)

So anyway, I was feeling terribly guilty and not really in the mood but of the three I went on, this was my most fun date. Not least because his tales of his ex-wife were absolutely riveting!  

This is what I've learned about Blanket Dating, even if you don't really fancy them (there was nothing wrong with him btw, he was an attractive man, just a little too tucked in and well-turned out for my ‘arty' i.e. scruffy tastes. And he skiied NEVER trust a man who skiis)  - find a juicy subject to talk about and you're away. There's nothing worse than two hours talking about ‘places you've traveled' or ‘films and music you like'

I have appalling taste in music and  can never remember the titles of films, so just spend the entire evening going ‘you know, it's about such-and-such, with so-and-so in it and thingymajig won an Oscar for it, whilst clicking my fingers violently and watching as they slowly lose the will to live.  

No, what I like, is a good juicy gossip, a chance to see the real them, and if this happens to be about your ex-wife and how she threatened to elope with your child to America or about how she screws you for cash or how she's screwing someone else, then great, bring it on if you're prepared to spill! For sheer, selfish entertainment factor, I'd far rather a date turn more into a therapy session than a discussion about which is your favourite bridge in London.

(This was what I was reduced to in date two......all coming shortly.....)

So anyway, yes, the date went well. Clearly he had a way to go until he was over his ex-wife (!) but at least I had a good time. We both drunk a bottle of wine each and we had a great gossip - what's not to like? I wasn't bored and perhaps he had the chance for a much needed vent and an objective ear.

 Ok, I am not seeing him again (no sexual spark, not over wife) but I came away from that date with a spring in my step. It taught me that dating is not scary, that most people are nice and that most people go to lengths to make you feel comfortable.

Plus, as I said,I would rather a man who is man enough to be open - even if it is about his ex wife - than offer nothing but small-talk for several hours, which I guess is what happened on date two.....

A very nice man, but really, so different from me it was not true so that wasn;'t his fault.

The Blanket Dater xx  (well, three dates in three weeks, anyway)
 

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