LOVE IN LONDON

Posted by Lianne Gutcher at 00:04 on 1 Jul 2010

• Print
• Share
• Comment

A quick update on my love life: romance continues not to blossom in Kabul

So, back in London to visit friends and make sure they don't completely forget me, I am working the other option: meet someone in the Big Smoke, fall mutually head over heels, return to Kabul and spend the next few months revelling in the fact that I have someone to at least pine over.

This worked quite well for one correspondent who had been in Afghanistan for some time. During the period I knew of him in Kabul, he was always dating someone - just not anyone in-country. I am not quite sure whether he seduced all the eligible females Kabul had to offer; or whether girls were put off by his reputation; or, indeed, whether he decided the women of Kabul were absolutely nuts and best left well alone.

(For the record, I have asked around for a male guest blogger to provide a perspective on the women of Kabul. I get to spout off about the men so I feel its only fair to offer a view from the Other Side of the gender divide. No one has taken me up on this offer as yet.)

Anyway, I pitched up in London and the weather is wonderful. On arrival I bought a copy of Time Out (and Rolling Stone magazine) to plan some activities and out tumbled a leaflet advertising the London Literature Festival. It so happened that one of the authors appearing at this event was a man I had a brief Facebook flirtation with last year. We were introduced by a mutual friend after The Author came into her office one day asking if she had any nice single friends.

"No," she said. Then,"There is one. But she lives in Kabul."

A few emails were exchanged. He was quite charming. There was a brief enquiry whether I would be back in London any time soon.

"So, out of very casually enquiring interest," he wrote, "are you ever coming to england, or will our 18 months of letters leading up to your assassination be published as the literary document of a fractured, nascent affection built on mutual respect that sadly never had the chance to be? Just wondered, really."

(I'm not sure how bad I should feel about publishing an excerpt from his very nice email. He too is a blogger and he very cleverly has a disclaimer at the bottom of his email: "If you are anything other than a friend or professional colleague and you are writing to me about xxx stuff then it is reasonable to assume that I might quote our discussion in my writing, usually anonymously." What to say? Takes one to know one?)

Anyway, at that time, over a year ago, I wasn't  planning a trip to London any time soon so correspondence tailed off.

Back to the LitFest.  I saw in my mind's eye a sort of Before Sunset scenario. Like Julie Delpy, I turn up to his book reading at a venue similar to Shakespeare & Co. There are 20 other audience members max. He glances up, catches my eye, the prelude to an evening of romance.

Then I remembered: I am not in the Left Bank, I am in London. Neither am I in a film. And in the real world, that type of behaviour could be considered a little bit stalkerish.

I asked Yummy New Mummy who I am staying with for advice. She generally gives good advice.

"It could be considered a bit stalkerish. I would at least let him know you were coming. He might be very alarmed if you just sort out jump out announcing Hello!!!!! I'm here!!!!!"

Further investigation into The Author's event revealed that it was not an intimate book reading in a quaint second-hand bookshop but in a Bloody Big London Venue seating 1,000. Chances of a meeting of eyes seemed remote.

It was also revealed that this event was going to take place at the evening's prime and cost 9 quid.

"You could write and ask him for a comp," Yummy New Mummy suggested. "That would have the added benefit of gauging his keenness."

We pondered this.

"But the downside is he might be very keen and then you might actually have to sit through his lecture."

Good point. While I moan about being single I think my dedication to husband hunting is limited - especially when it eats (drinks?) into cocktail time with my buddies.

A date with a Top 10 Bestselling Author will have to wait for now.

• Next entry
• Previous entry