When all around are dead or dying…

Posted by Lianne Gutcher at 13:29 on 15 May 2010

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Thursday morning I got up and checked my emails.

This from my HR department:  "The security environment in Afghanistan remains volatile and unpredictable... the potential exists throughout the country for hostile acts and kidnappings, either targeted or random, against international civilians at any time."

Gosh, that's a bit scary, I thought. A little too much to contemplate this early in the day, especially before a cup of tea.

Luckily, though, as I scrolled though the rest of my inbox I came across this - an email advertising a BASIC WEAPONS AWARENESS COURSE:

"When all around you are dead or dying, what do you do? Pick up a weapon and try to defend yourself, or just die? We know from experience in Kabul that insurgent-led "complex" style attacks have increased and leave individuals with difficult decisions to make in a life or death situation in the heat of a moment. Have you ever fired a gun before? This new Kabul-based course covers the basic everyday weapons found in Afghanistan and used by security personnel."

The ad goes on to say that participants will learn how to aim, reload, and make safe a weapon. Each person "will handle the weapons on a dry run (no actual firing) to familiarize themselves with the 'feel' of each weapon. Optional actual shooting can be organized at a later date."

The cost of this is $250 per person for four hours instruction. Refreshments included.

Phew. All my concerns can be laid to rest then. Sign me up pronto. (And the added benefit is that, according to J - one of the many foreign correspondents here whose name starts with J, a girl's attractiveness increases by about 30 per cent if she has a pistol strapped to her thigh. I think he's joking but I'm not sure.)

Except... you pay $250 and don't actually get to fire a gun? What's the bleeding point of that? Oh, yeah... you get to pay more money at a later date for "optional actual shooting."

If you ask me, these people sound like scaremongering rip-off merchants.

But who am I to ask? I know squat about such things. So, let's ask a woman who does: my lovely colleague who, when she was previously in Afghanistan as a reservist, carried a gun round with her on a regular basis.

She panned the idea, saying that the course needed to be a day long with first the dry run (then refreshments) then shooting at a range.

She added: "And still, if you have no prior experience, you would be very confused if you had to use any of those guns in real situation. Most probably you wouldn't remember how to turn the safety off or load those weapons."
 
My other go-to gal when I want a sensible opinion is Just Married. Her view was this: "Another money making scheme that teaches people absolutely jack shit, I say. Firing a gun hurts (especially girls) and triggers are stiff. You kind of need to fire one to know that so this course is pointless. Also if you were really in that life or death situation you'd just do it an auto-pilot  I think. I hope."

I hope too.

What clinched it was wise words from my friend, a big bad former marine who has a heart of gold and who know's his shit: "What X should be doing is teaching people how to run because that is their best option in Kabul. Hard to hit a moving target and the Taliban suck at marksmanship anyway."

Anyway, as most girls in Kabul find out quickly enough, there is really no need to pay for a bit of shooting action. As BF2, Just Married and I can attest, if you talk nice to the right weapons-totin' boys, they usually let you shoot their guns for free. And sometimes they throw in a picnic (refreshments!) too.

 

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