It's Not You, it's Me

Posted by Lara Masters at 17:21 on 26 Apr 2010

• Print
• Share
• Comment

I have been blog-phobic of late. The reasons for this are to do with nausea and migraines - which I told you in my last blog is too big an ask for me to make funny - and, maybe even less funny... I've been working, including occasionally going into an actual office. Gulp.

So how did I get myself into this office-work-type mess in the first place? My Mum OBE, owner of Pineapple Dance Studios (currently smash-hit reality doc on Sky 1), mentioned she thought there were problems with the Pineapple shopping website. Normally, I'd ignore Mum's opinion on computer/internet-related because of her inability to copy and paste or click on links, but she does have good instincts so I tested the website out and found indeed there was a problem; I couldn't buy anything.

Then I panicked thinking about how many customers couldn't buy things (and how this could negatively impact my future) and assigned myself the job of Head of Making the Pineapple Shopping Website Experience First Class, which mainly consists of me asking various members of Pineapple staff to do things. Plus, if customers have problems with the site, my email is there and I'm ready to help with anything and everything (except can I just say, if you want a signed photo of Louie, Facebook him, but he's got 5,000 "friends" and is frankly a little elusive these days so don't hold your breath, and the purple Pineapple tracksuit Katie Price was wearing isn't in ‘til August.)

This whole working experience is a bit of a shell-shock for me; I do not know how people do it day-in, day-out. I take my hat/Kiss My Cherry Skull Beret off to all of you with proper jobs - which I'm aware is the majority of my readership, as all my immediate family work. Except my sister who likes to think she works but gardening and reading teenage fiction like Twilight all day "to see if they're suitable" for her 13 yr-old daughter is by no stretch of the imagination actual work. And my Mum OBE, who's currently in the South of France and says she's working because she's "got her iPhone and PC" with her, but seeing as she can't operate either and only recently learnt where the iPhone "off" button was (after months of stuffing it under cushions every night) I think that's highly improbable.

But to those people who go into an office and sit in front of a glaring computer screen all day - occasionally taking a sojourn from the avalanche of emails, spreadsheets and ever-multiplying To-Do Lists to glance through my witterings - YOU ARE A STAR. How you don't collapse onto your keyboard cross-eyed mid-morning or crumple into a sobbing heap in a post-panini lunchtime slump, I do not know; OBEs all-round, I say. Or at the very least Penguins and Orange Clubs.

BTW, if my blogs get increasingly choc-centric it's because a naturopath I consulted about my mysterious malaise made the heinous suggestion that cutting out sugar would help. This traumatising suggestion was made especially cruel by the fact that it was just after Easter and I had a symposium of chocolate eggs in varying states of disarray scattered throughout my home.
Seeing my blood under a microscope awash with grey splodges of "fungus" did add bulk to my naturopath's sugar-free argument but frankly if my kicking faculties had not been impaired, he would have been on the receiving end of some full-on shin acupressure.

I've since been considering whether life without chocolate is any kind of life at all. It isn't really but it's that or migraines and blood fungus and as I have a self-appointed job to be getting on with and people to ask to do things, there's no window in my diary for swooning and dizzy-fits. I will certainly be a more diligent blogger as I'm not lying in a darkened room feeling like an elephant's stamping on my head so much - enjoy me with your favourite chocolatey treat!
 
 

• Next entry
• Previous entry