Oh la la

Posted by Isabel Dexter at 09:30 on 22 Sep 2009

• Print
• Share
• Comment

Having a patriotic moment cette semaine (this week) despite the costume. It's such an important London Fashion Week this season, with the move to Somerset House, Burberry Prorsum showing, the 25th anniversary parties, Kate Moss on the front row and Anna Wintour Herself attending the shows, that I am having to eat copious amounts of Marmite whilst listening to the Sex Pistols to make myself feel better about being on the wrong side of the Channel. The Parisians don't get it of course. "Anna Wintour? She's not even beautiful." said Charlotte, "I prefer Carine." Mais, bien sur....(of course) but Anna is like The Godfather of fashion - hell, I'd be more scared of her than Marlon Brando. Have you seen how cold her eyes are? "Well, she is British" Charlotte added. Apparently even despite the somewhat dubious (translation: slutty) reputation of English girls in Paris, we're not known for our warmth.

So it was with a little trepidation that I turned up at Charlotte and her sister Pauline's fancy dress party doing tongue-in-cheek Parisian (I wanted to make some lewd joke about English girls and tongues here, but have restrained myself. My whole family reads this blog now. Je suis vachement innocente!). Was I making a mockery of the entire nation? Lingering on the street waiting to be texted the door code I wondered if I might get beaten up on the rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré and would have to try and fend off potential attackers with my baguette prop (even I decided onions were just de trop).  Was feeling very 'Ello, 'Ello, especially when an American tourist asked me for directions.  (It is I.....eeezzebelle).

But they loved it. Who said the French don't have a sense of humour? In fact, the fancy dress party in France (or une soirée déguisée) is supposed to be about being funny. Even the girls do that non-sexy making fun of themselves thing. Pauline wore pajamas (but she looked cute, in a sort of louche Audrey Hepburn chez elle - at home - kinda way). One girl wore a stick on moustache. At their last (Hollywood) party she said she'd come as the red carpet.  It reminded me of a superhero party I went to in London where all the girls were some sort of  sexy Wonder Woman/Supergirl/She-Ra hybrid, whilst my best friend went as Banana Man - complete with a painted yellow cardboard box worn from ankle to neck and  a banana-coloured hoodie. Tasty.

"But in England the whole point of fancy dress is just wearing as few clothes as possible." I professed. 
"Hmm now I come to think about it you didn't really look like a hunter on New Year's Eve - more like a Bond girl pretending to be a hunter." said Pauline
"Exactly, and the reason I dressed as Cher from Clueless at that other fancy dress party was just so I could wear over-the-knee socks and a short skirt".
"It's not cool to try so hard here," added La Artiste. Yeah yeah we're all supposed to do that 'naturally sexy' thing. je sais, je sais. I blame Derby - if you're not wearing blonde hair extensions, a white mini, bare legs, and lots of St Tropez, you're nothing.  It's not Chuck Bass territory,  they like their fruit ready picked up North.

The next day I tried to immerse myself into the French eating culture. As on the inside, so on the outside - or sommat. Well it worked for Eric. So, coffee for breakfast and then a plate of vegetables for dinner. And we wonder why French girls are so skinny? After Pauline pretends to be my mum by whipping up some delicious vegetable concoction I am expecting to feel instantly better. Where is the glowing skin? The bright eyes? The bundles of 'joie de vivre?' Well? Well? Are we nearly there yet?

"What are you doing?" asks Pauline as she notices me looking around expectantly.
"I'm waiting for the energy to kick in" I say.
"Isabel, it's vegetables, not red bull" .  Apparement you can eat these vegetable things everyday without worrying that they will overly increase your desire to dance on bars or your consumption of vodka. Fascinating. Vive La France!

• Next entry
• Previous entry