Cornbury: the poshest festival ever?

Posted by Gill Sutherland at 12:08 on 14 Jul 2009

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Festival Frolics grabbed her Barbour and headed to the Oxfordshire countryside to check out Cornbury, possibly the UK’s nicest festival.

The Vibe
Set in the natural bowl of the oak-strewn, verdant slopes of the Cornbury estate, the festival is populated by local Poshdershire types and their brood. A ‘mere’ £175 (splutter) bags a weekend VIP ticket. This ensures that you are treated like landed gentry all weekend: with golf buggy chauffeur, access to the VIP marquee with its luxury bogs, camping and champagne bar. Festival Frolics adapts to the VIP lifestyle without complaint.
 
Fash Code
Hunt-ready. The Saturday rain clouds produce crowds of leather riding boot-wearing, jodhpur-sporting fillies and their fellas. Festival Frolics attempts to distract from her scullery maid-ish flip-flops and skinny jeans by adopting home counties accent and shouting “Tally ho!” at inappropriate moments.
 
The Eats
Festival Frolics devours eggs benedict and champagne for brekkie, then scoffs ricotta and truffle ravioli and, hic, more champagne for lunch. Seriously, this isn’t some sort of foodie fantasy: Frolics really really ate this stuff : at a festival! Tally ho, VIP catering!
 
The Entertainment
Festival Frolics manages to scream off approx 500 calories at the onsite fairground. Be warned: the so-called ‘Miami Surf fun swing’ is a terrifying experience especially when sat next to a bare-chested, blubbery toff-farmer who’s “been drinking since dawn” and threatens to pee himself halfway through. Nice. Other distractions include pondering the sex lives of the Morris dancers, shopping at country clothiers Joules and loitering on the Pimms bus. Music-wise there’s loads to keep the kiddies happy – headliners Scouting For Girls and Sugababes especially. But act of the weekend goes to the Pretenders. Rock chick extraordinaire Chrissie Hynde, despite being a botox-bothering 57, is on tip-top form as the sun blazes on her Sunday evening slot. And song of the weekend? Why Brass in Pocket, fittingly enough.
 
Slebs
Despite seeing loads of folk that look like Tory leader David Cameron and/or a prince Wills/Harry ­- all previous Cornbury frequenters­- the sad truth is Festival Frolics has only one solitary sleb-spot to report: public school/boy racer poster boy Jeremy Clarkson. Ho and indeed hum.
 
In Conclusion
If glamping, hobnobbery, and Pimm's-quaffing is your thing, then you will love Cornbury. If rolling in mud, going off-yer-nut potty and generally having it large is more your ‘scene’ then please leave immediately via the servant’s entrance.

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