What the Elle?!

Posted by Lara Masters at 17:00 on 10 Jul 2009

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You know what’s so weird about being "in therapy" and tackling your issues? Significant things start to happen in your life. I don't mean you suddenly wake up one morning brimming with self-confidence, steel boundaries and a deep love for Angelina Jolie, (I've only had five sessions, and as mentioned in my last blog, I am fully aware I can’t expect those results until I hit the 2 month mark.) What I mean is that when you start talking about things that are deeply locked in your psyche with the intention to clear them so they no longer negatively affect you, you start to attract people and events into your life that are aligned with what you're "working through".

For example, my counsellor has been taking my history so I talked about when I was 15 and just back to boarding school after being away for several months recovering from a spinal haemorrhage. I was struggling to readjust and then my Dad died of cancer. It was the most difficult period of my life but I had a best friend who was very supportive and I really loved her. We shared a dorm, dressed like Goths and danced to MJ on our beds. Then, out of the blue, she became best friends with another girl and cut me off without explanation.

So, the point of this is not to drag up the sorry saga, I’m totally over it, I mean it was soooooooooo long ago, can’t even remember her name now. Tut. (Shrugs shoulders.) Whatever. (Sucks teeth.) But as I was going into my counselling session the other day, she was walking into the building at the same time, we collided on the steps. Gulp.

It turns out, she’s having counselling too. But she was properly lovely to me. Not that fake “oh-my-God-I-gotta-act-nice-coz-the-girl-I-f**ked-over-as-a-teenager-is-now-in-a-wheelchair” type vibe - I wasn't picking that up at all. She was just very warm and seemed really calm and content (obviously hit her two month mark.)We exchanged digits and we’re e-ing each other. Nice, huh?

Another example of this law of attraction thing is that I’m also confronting negative feelings about my body. So, when I was out last night enjoying the unveiling of the new Jaguar XJ at the Saatchi Gallery and ran into none other than Elle "The Body" Macpherson, who's like,  50 feet tall, I knew it was just the universe messing with me. On Tuesday I'm whingeing on to my therapist about my self-image problems - so thin, severely paralysed blah blah yawn, no wonder she charges £45 an hour - but I'm dragging it all up to let it go you know. Then, two days later I’m eyeball to kneecap with the proprietor of the world's most perfect female form.

As I keep mentioning, I haven't done my two months so it wouldn't have been at all surprising if I had reacted to meeting her by “accidentally” knocking into the backs of her legs, shouting; "Timber!" and backing out of the room whilst pondering if Elle “Flat Nose” Macpherson would be at the next Jag launch. I didn’t though. I mean just because she's got this preposterously magnificent physique and I’m in a wheelchair does not mean that God loves her and hates me. It’s what’s inside that counts. Yes. And that's only after five weeks.

You know what I actually did?  I introduced myself to Elle just as if she was a normal human being. And we chatted. And she said to me; “ You're really beautiful.”

And the moral of the tale? When you come face-to-face with your sworn enemy and Elle Macpherson’s kneecaps and don’t feel nuttin' but love, you gotta believe. Therapy rocks.

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