How Vice Led Me To Katie Price

Posted by Lara Masters at 13:52 on 2 Jun 2009

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A baked potato with beans and cheese, some teeth whitener samples and 57 corset try-ons later, it was almost closing time at the Clothes Show exhibition. By now, my new blue glitter eye shadow was smeared down my face; a metaphor for the heart-broken tears I’d been holding back all day and for my vision of commiserating with fellow love-casualty Katie Price being washed away.

But then, lovely new boy band Vice’s manager told me Katie was doing a fashion show in the other hall and he had been hanging out with her and was sure that she would love to meet me. Of course she would, I thought! We’re just like two peas in a pod - although peas aren’t exactly what springs to mind when you think of Katie Price – but… she loves riding horses, I used to love riding horses (until I had a spinal haemorrhage when I was on a horse and ended up in this wheelchair), she likes Pineapple clothes, so do I (my mum designs them), she gets papped looking slightly disheveled on a night out occasionally, that’s me every weekend!

I got into the fashion theatre just as KP’s catwalk show was ending and ran smack into Katie’s meaty minder who had so politely told me to f*** off earlier. But then I realised, if he’s out here, then she’s elsewhere, unminded! Coincidence or fate?! And then things just fell into place.

I asked a security guard to direct me back-stage; my press pass was currency, he ushered me to his colleague. His colleague asked me a few probing questions and took me to his manager. I had to up my blag for this manager, he’d clearly seen a few press passes in his time but pointed me towards the next security frontier outside the stage door. The stage door heavy had been radioed about my arrival and told to me quite firmly to “wait here” and promptly left.

I was so busy obediently “waiting here” that it took me 20 minutes to realize that just inside the door, which was wide open, Katie was standing in her underwear. She peeped out of the doorway wearing one purple stiletto and one fluffy black ankle boot and asked me; “Which ones do you think?” I said the ankle-boots for sure and she put them on saying; “God you’ve got a tiny waist you b**ch!”

And that was it, I was backstage chatting with Katie and comparing stomachs. And she was so friendly and open and really funny - she said to my (quite obviously lesbian) carer; “You like a bit of woman you do!“ We squealed - and when I coveted Katie’s delicious aroma, she sprayed me all over with her perfume and gave it to me. I had to hold back the urge just to be done with it and invite her out dancing with me there and then. But I didn’t want to seem pushy/bonkers.

I like to try and hold that part of me back for as long as possible.

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