How Katie Price Led Me to Vice

Posted by Lara Masters at 11:44 on 2 Jun 2009

• Print
• Share
• Comment

I’ve been experiencing some heartache of late; you know when your love story doesn’t quite work out the way you imagined and you can’t eat or sleep and would like to hurl yourself out of the window only your carer brings up concerns that she might be done for “accessory to murder” even though you’ll happily sign something that proves you were in your right mind and it was your choice etc…

Anyway, I went to bed the other night thinking about the fragility of love, like butterfly wings, and about Katie Price’s love woes and how galling it is when a relationship ends. Particularly when it’s not you that ends it.So, it was quite appropriate that I ran into Katie the next day.

When I say “ran into” what I actually mean is I was at the Clothes Show exhibition and she was signing her KP equestrian range and I thought; “Coincidence or fate?!” And immediately went to introduce myself (swap numbers/arrange to go out dancing) but her massive minder clocked my press pass and practically frog-marched me off the premises.

Traumatised by this brutal separation from my NBF, I immediately bought five glitter eye-shadows and found myself on a fake beach watching a boy band with a promo Martini and pomegranate clamped between my thighs.

The band Vice - who are so cute and glowing you couldn’t imagine them ever having a vice, except maybe smoothies or sushi, but perhaps they are supposed to be our vice - were singing, dancing and back-flipping their hearts out to a paltry, non-committal audience who had never heard of them.

But they were so relaxed and confident and their up-coming single Bounce was pretty groovy. I found myself bouncing.

My people (my carer) spoke to their people (the man on the mixing desk) and I met them. They were lovely and I hope we’ll all be bouncing to Bounce this summer

• Next entry
• Previous entry