Film pitch

Posted by Lara Masters at 13:14 on 17 Mar 2009

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I was invited by Birds’ Eye View  ( www.birds-eye-view.co.uk; celebrating and supporting international women filmmakers) along with a select group of female writers to  pitch our comedy film ideas to the crème de la crème of the UK film industry. WOW. I requested one-on-ones with the heads of Film 4 and the UK Film Council. Yikes. But very WOW.

I had never "pitched" before but I had seen those Orange cinema adverts. And Googled "how to pitch a film" so felt fairly qualified. Gulp.  

According to my writing partner Adriano who has a silver pony-tail befitting someone with experience in such matters, a successful film pitch is an advert but not a detailed account of the plot.   And according to my internet research, swigging at intervals from a bottle of water, to "punctuate" your schpeel adds suspense and a certain gravitas. Uh-huh.

When I pitched up (boom boom) to the event held at the magnificent Coutts and Co., I discovered many of the women there, my fellow pitchers, already had illustrious film careers in comedy or writing/producing films so I felt like the pitch virgin. I'm sure they all clocked my water bottle and knew I had just read "how to pitch a film" and perhaps remembered a time when they too sipped on Evian mid-pitch.

My comedy film idea is loosely based on me but only in as much as it's about a writer in her 30s, who lives in London, has quite a glamorous social life, a famous mum, an interesting love life and uses an electric wheelchair. Oh, no, actually that is me.... But wait, do I, in real life, have a Scottish carer who looks like Ewan McGregor that I end up having a relationship with?  Certainly not. I only ever employ female carers but that, my friends, is called creative writing. You take a hint of real life, give it a twist and voila; a Britflick blockbuster starring me (unless we find another equally disabled actress in her 30's who uses an electric wheelchair and looks like me... So that'll be me then,)  and Ewan McGregor.

It's difficult to convey the hilarious humour of the film in this blog; during the pitch I acted out a little scene involving choosing my knickers in the morning and the Film 4 and UK Film Council honchos laughed uproariously.  Okay so not uproariously but they did emit a definite chortle. And both commissioners invited us to submit a written pitch. Oh yes.

We were just about to put a call into Ewan’s agent when we realised everyone was invited to submit a written pitch. Okay. But did the other comedy film hopefuls come in with CD of an original soundtrack that they had co-written with their genius music- writing partners?  I don't think so.

I think we're looking at an autumn release. Just in time for the Oscars.

Above photo of me and Ioan Gruffud (who is slated to play my other love interest in the film) of course proves that I have a access to the stars (or met him once in a bar and forced him to have his photo taken with me.)

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