The Brit Awards 2009

Posted by Tom Gormer at 08:55 on 20 Feb 2009

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THIS PROGRAMME MAY CONTAIN FLASHING LIGHTS!!!1!

(FYI, the curry is in the oven)

Let the games begin....

U2 have good video screen going on. They have the words on it. Its JUST like karaoke.
Not one close up of Bono yet.
ERGH CLOSE UP. MINE EYES!!

Bored.
THE GLASSES ARE OFF. JUMP!
JUMP!
EYELINER!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ITS KYLIE. Miming with James Corden and Mathew Horne as backing dancers. Both wearing THIGH high boots.

Kylie looks like Kylie. 10/10.

The set looks like teletubbyland.

Jonny Vegas is doing the voiceover. Wrong decision The Brits. BRING BACK THE THORNTON!

Best female: Duffy. Well done you.
WAS THAT RICHARD MADELEY???
Duffy 'glad I’m not a boy. Its a treat' thanksforthatlove.

Nicole Ritchie’s dad is here to introduce international female:
Katy Perry.
WAS THAT MATT LUCAS?
Katy Perry’s dress = not nice. 'I’m ill. ' boohoohoo you.
Personality = zero.

SCREAM!!!!! ITS GIRLS ALOUD
PINK FEATHERS
STAIRS! DANCERS!
THEY HAVENT REHEARSED MUCH.
AT LEAST DO A REMIX OR SOMETHING :(
Well done Kimberley. You were the best there.
Boring boring.

Dear Fearne Cotton, please give Duffy her hair back!

Alex Jameszzzzz hasnt dressed up.
Duffy has just won something.

WAS THAT THE LORD ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER?

Mrs Ting Ting doesn’t look happy.
Alexandra Burke looks nice.

Coldplay. ie curry time (to set the scene lots of rose petals are falling from the sky)

Spotted. JSP. Nice dress.

CHANGE OF OUTFIT TIME! Kylie’s dress is much better now.
IMBRUGLIA ALERT!

Kings of Leon. Officially not ugly.
(they just won something)

Kylies doing well, FYI.

Solo male time... Paul Wellers won. (via video screen. his hair is rubbish.)

Duffy is going to sing now.
Dear Duffy, please sing something up-tempo. Thanks x

There is now a boxer on.
Kngs of Leon have won. Yay!
(My housemate isn’t happy. She went to Barcelona to see them on Saturday and they cancelled. They seem well now)

LAZERS!!!!!!
ITS TAKE THAT!
They are re using Rihanna’s lights from last year.
Speccy 4 eyes Take That. APPROVED!

Mathew Horne’s hair is nice.

WHO IS THIS??? (edit: appara, it’s Nick Frost. WHO?)

IRON MAIDEN!!???????!

INCOMING TEXT: 'hate Coldplay and Adele should have beaten Duffy! My summary so far'

Elbow have won something.
WHERE IS THE EXCITEMENT!!

WHERE IS GRIMMY??

KINGS OF LEON TIME.
AMAZE!

Nothing special still. Nothing special at all.
CREDIT CRUNCH BRITS!

INCOMING TEXT FROM AUSTRALIA:  How is Kylie? Going to work now in white jeans a la Justin in GQ. Think I’m more Liz Hurley!

THIS TEXT IS THE HIGHTLIGHT OF THE NIGHT!

What happened to Natasha Bedingfield?

Florence and the Machine has won an award. POSH! WHO? BEIGE ALERT.

GOK WAN IS A MODERN MIRACLE!!! OFFICIAL.

Kanye West has just won something.

OMG! Its the Ting Tings (Jenny Frost with a guitar innit)
SINGING with Estelle.
I’m not sure if this is good or not...

Kylie is now wearing Green (FYI, green is mine and Kate Moss’ favourite colour!)

Alan Carr has just given Girls Aloud an award for best girl band in the whole world with Cheryl Cole in. Or something.
Nadine needs subtitles.
ASHLEY COLE is there.

Where is James Corden?

Duffy has won AGAIN. SHE IS THE NEW ANNIE LENNOX!

OMG! THE PET SHOP BOYS.
This is proper amazing.
EVERYSONG IS A HIT.

Dear Brandon Flowers, please can I have your coat.
Dear Lady GaGa, how old are you really? And is your outfit borrowed from G.A.Y AIRLINES?

Lets watch it again!

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