To wee or not to wee? That is the question

Posted by Angela Laycock at 10:08 on 28 Apr 2008

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You wake up at 2am for no apparent reason. You roll over and try to get back to sleep but you realise your bladder is full and you can't. After deciding the problem won't go away you reluctantly get out of your nice warm bed, put on your dressing gown and wander down the corridor to the toilet. Five minutes later you're tucked up back in bed again and you're on your way back to sleep.

Now imagine that at Camp One, at 6100m on the side of the 5th highest mountain in the world. You're in a sleeping bag sandwiched between four other people listening to a howling wind battering the tent. You have the same bladder pressure and after 20 minutes of tossing and turning it hasn't gone away and you still have six hours until the sun hits the tent. You have two options: get out of your sleeping bag and go outside to the piece of toilet snow 25 meters across the glacier in the dark after putting on all your clothes and boots. Or conjure up a way of peeing in the tent without spillage.

The girls opted for the latter. 'All you have to do is fill a wide necked bottle,' said all the blokes on the team. 'Not that simple being a girl when you have to squat,' we replied. I could foresee this problem and did a bit of internet shopping having heard of various funnel shaped products which allow women to wee like a man. I ordered one such product and started practicing at home before we left.

Now, above 6000m my funnel has come out tops. When the bladder pressure comes on all you do is reach for the lady funnel and a 600ml plastic drinks bottle. You kneel up in your sleeping bag, ensure the connections are all good and carefully pee away. There has been one accident so far when I overfilled a 500ml bottle but with careful surveillance and bladder control a perfect fill is highly achievable. With the funnel packed away and lid tightly screwed on the only issue is to stop your bottle freezing so it can be emptied in the morning!

Even down at base camp the thought of getting out of your sleeping bag in the middle of the night, putting all of your clothes on and walking in the wind to the toilet tent makes you shiver. So it's time to get out the funnel and bottle in the comfort of your sleeping bag.

My next trials are to find a way of peeing in my wind suit and down suit that we will be using above 6500m. I have to find a way of peeing with as little skin exposed as possible. I tried the normal squatting technique the other day and had my bare bum sandblasted by a gust of wind and spindrift. Watch this space for how my experiments go!

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